Page 62 of Angels Fall

“Right. Copy that. But then second, that means that…your—”

“—MY prim and proper MOM is rocking some freaky fox tail action in the sack!”

“Holy. Shit.” I can’t stop the grin from spreading. “I don’t know how I’m gonna look at her the same way now.”

“Oh, please. You were already flirting with her downstairs, this just reinforces that she probably wants you to.”

“Hey! I’m pretty sure she was flirting with me. Which isn’t my fault. I’m mad flirt-worthy. Everybody says so.”

She grins, grabs my shirt, and pulls me in for a kiss. A long, sweet, hot, perfect, almost too perfect kiss. Then she pulls back and says, “We better get downstairs. They did fly all the way here for dinner.”

She smiles. And I’m fucking happy.

“Cool.” I smile back. And then, as I push her hair out of her face, I take the fox tail from her, hold it up, grin, and offer…

“And your mom did say you could wear anything of hers you wanted…”

Chapter Fourteen - Maddie

As we exit the elevator, I’m terrified. Because this feels…not at all terrifying.

Tyler next to me, heading to have Thanksgiving dinner with my family, feels as familiar and normal as anything in the world. Because, in a way, it is. It’s not the first time Tyler and I have had dinner with my folks. But it is the first time we’ve done it since Scotty died. And it’s obviously the first time we’ve done it since we’ve become… whatever the hell we are.

And that’s what’s scary. Because with all the unknowns, there’s no way to predict what’s going to happen. And I know there’s never any way to predict what’s going to happen in life. I know that. But the good thing about everything being shitty and broken is that then you can believe that whatever’s waiting to happen will be a good thing. Will lift you up. When everything’s going OK, the uncertainty of the future tends to come in the form of the good things being burned to the ground.

It takes a really long, hard time to build something up. And almost no time at all to tear it down. Just ask the guys who built the World Trade Center.

This is a pretty morose thought to be having right now, but I’ve got to protect myself. This day will end, my parents will leave again, and who the hell knows what will happen with Tyler. He’s still totally Tyler. Which means unstable. And unpredictable. And as uncertain as an uncertain future can be. And I have to guard my heart. I don’t want to. But I have to. Because I won’t be broken again. I won’t let it happen. I’ve had enough tragedy and heartbreak for this lifetime.

And then, of course, there’s Carlos. Which is its own special brand of anxiety. Yeah, the climb continues. No resting yet. I’m nowhere near the top.

Mom and Dad are sitting in the lobby, near the restaurant, waiting. As we approach, Dad says, “We were getting worried maybe you got lost in that suite!” He and Mom and Tyler all give a hearty laugh. I give a half-hearted one. I still just don’t wanna risk having to talk about me and Tyler.

Mom sees what I’m wearing—one of her wrap dresses; a black one with pretty flowers on it—and gushes, “Oh, honey. That looks fabulous on you. You should keep that. It looks better on you than it does on me! Why don’t you go through and see if there’s anything else that would look good on you?”

“Yeah. I mean, I saw a couple of things…” Tyler says, with a shit-eating grin on his face. I swear to God, I will punch him in the dick.

“Nonsense!” Dad says. “George, you look amazing in that dress. Why don’t we just take Maddie shopping tomorrow and get her some stuff? Black Friday!”

I feel like I’m gonna cry, and it’s totally unexpected. But my folks wanna take me shopping. For clothes and shit. Which I don’t really care about in and of itself, but they want to take care of me. And suddenly I start thinking…what’s wrong with that? Why not let them? Why not just tell them what’s going on (or at least as much of it as I think they can stomach) and get their help? They’re my family after all. They love me. They want to help me. What’s all this pride about anyway? It hasn’t done shit but jam me up.

That’s right, Maddie.

Fuck. What is that?

It’s me. The angel.

Oh, Jesus. Are you still here?

Yep, bitch, and I am too. You can’t get rid of us that easy.

Fucking hell. Why now?

Maddie, the angel says, Yes. Let them help you. There’s no shame in it.

Sure, you fucking quitter. Let somebody else bail you out, says the devil.

This is confusing. I figured the devil would be all like, ‘Yeah, fuck them, get what you can, take what’s yours, etc.’