Page 21 of Balance

“I think the rest is best discussed somewhere more private.” Matthew glanced around, bringing awareness to our surroundings.

“Then it’s a good thing I’m going home with you so we can continue this conversation later.”

Matthew’s eyes glimmered, and I loved the way he smiled at me. I loved the feeling it gave me when Matthew paid attention to me. He had a way of making me feel like I was his sole focus, the only thing on the whole planet that mattered. It was intoxicating.

“Bold little brat.” The words came without malice, with some kind of reverence attached instead.

“You don’t make that sound like a bad thing.” Admittedly, I was a little perplexed by it. I’d only ever heard the word brat used with great annoyance or even disdain. Brats were unholy terrors, bucking the trends of polite society. They were pushy and loud and mostly unwanted.

“I don’t mind an honest brat.”

The way Matthew worded it brought me up short. “As opposed to a dishonest brat?”

“As opposed to someone whose bratting is a performance. Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with it; I just prefer the kind of brat that gets wound up and can’t help themselves. The kind of brat who gets overwhelmed and overstimulated and might do something rash like pick a fight with a stranger on a plane and then sit in his lap when he won’t give up his seat.”

I picked at my food, realizing I’d eaten more than half, but there was still no way I was going to finish it all. Everything Matthew was saying to me was taking up space inside of me, trying to find where it fit.

“I didn’t mean to be a brat,” I admitted to him, barely able to meet his gaze. Shame had washed over me a few times since the plane incident. The only redeeming thing about my actions was that somehow they brought me to Matthew, and no one seemed to have been recording.

“I know you didn’t. Honest brats don’t mean to brat. They just get too wound up and carried away, and then before they know it, they’re in hot water in one way or another.”

“Like getting kicked off a flight.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “It was kind of bratty for you to invite yourself into my hotel room.”

Matthew’s stare was hard like steel and sharp like a blade. The tone of his voice was deep, firm, and left no room for argument. Not that I’d be able to, because the moment I heard him speak, my insides wobbled.

“Someone had to make sure you behaved. I call it a fitting punishment for making me miss my flight.”

“I really am sorry about that,” I blurted, my face burning.

Matthew reached across the table and put his hand on mine. His thumb stroked across the back of my hand in a soothing way. Nice and slow and purposeful. No movement was ever wasted with him. He was economical with his words too. Everything he said and did was driven by purpose, nothing wasted, and it made my chest bloom with warmth that he’d choose to spend his energy on me.

“No more apologizing for that. It’s done, and it can’t be undone. Besides, I think, all things considered, it had a favorable outcome.”

The heat in his gaze melted me to the floor. I was nothing but wax, softened and made moldable by his warmth.

Unsure what to say, I shifted the conversation away from things that felt too heavy. I was having trouble wrapping my head around all the things we were saying and all the things we weren’t. I wasn’t allowed to run, but I was allowed to be… myself. Messy and imperfect and sometimes impulsive and impossible. And if we were going to have rules, and they were negotiable, then I wanted to negotiate sexy spankings. Spankings that maybe weren’t because I was wound up.

Desperately needing a different thought in my head, I took a sip of my drink and searched for a new topic. “Did you like my stream? How long did you stay?”

“You’re very entertaining. You’re honest, and laid back, and a lot of fun to watch. I didn’t stay long, but I spent the whole flight watching old clips of you.”

If my heart was fluttering before, it was downright break dancing now. “You did?”

“Of course I did. I wanted to know more about you.” Matthew shifted, and that’s when I realized he was still holding my hand. The contact had felt so natural that I’d stopped registering it.

“Well, I’m here. What did you want to know?”

He lifted my hand and dragged it slowly toward his mouth. He dusted a kiss against my knuckles. His eyes held mine, something warm gently simmering below the surface. “Everything.”

I almost laughed, but he wasn’t joking. He was serious.

“Everything?”

“You came into my life like a tornado, and then you let me tame you. I don’t think you understand how beautiful it was or how rare. I liked what we did. All of it. Even the part where you threw yourself in my lap, as though the flight crew would let you fly that way.”

I managed to roll my eyes. “They’re so boring. Airlines are always looking for ways to make more money. They should have just let us fly like that.”

I’d been called worse things than a tornado before but never with such affection. The way Matthew talked about me made me think he actually didn’t mind that I’d been unable to control myself in those moments.