Page 80 of Roping My Rival

After a few breaths, I hang on to the hope that he’ll still have that feeling when I’m done.

“I didn’t know that before my mom died, we were already in financial trouble. Quitting her job put a strain on cash. The farm had a mortgage, horses weren’t cheap, and health insurance didn’t cover all of Darla’s meds and expenses. My parents had taken a second mortgage out from a private lender, and the interest was borderline illegal. My dad…” With a heavy sigh, I send a wish to the heavens, asking my dad for forgiveness. “My dad started gambling, hoping a big windfall would solve all our problems. He borrowed money one night from a guy. He won a little, then borrowed more. By the time I found out he was gambling, he was…” I finally lose the battle with the tears and let them stream down my cheeks. “He was in so deep, the only way I could keep these people off his back was to offer my services to help. I couldn’t let Dad carry all that, you know? So Dad kept going to work and so did I. Then it all got worse.”

I’m vaguely aware of Warren pulling me against him, and we’re no longer looking up at the beautiful stars. I’ve turned his favourite place into one with sad memories, and more tears flow.

“Hey, I got you. You’re okay,” he whispers against my temple, and I’m not okay. I haven’t been for years.

“I found my dad in the barn about two weeks after I found out about the gambling debt. He left me a note, and I was so angry that he left me with all of this. And…” My breath hitches. “I didn’t know what to do. We had no family. No money. I buried Dad by digging the hole myself for his urn at the cemetery next to Mom, just to save the $100 fee. His name still isn’t on the headstone. By some miracle, my sponsorship still kept paying me even when I wasn’t competing, and I found a place to keep Trigger. Getting a place for Darla was luck. Kissing Ridge care home had an open bed. They were the first place I found, and I had just enough money hidden to cover her first month. I lied on the application that I had a job and income just to make sure I could get her out of the farm and be safe.”

It’s odd how once you speak of things you convinced yourself that you’d never tell, the words keep coming. After wiping at my face, I keep going.

“The farm was repossessed. We lost everything except what I could pack and take in my truck. I thought it would all go away when I saw Henry’s photo on the news, saying that he’d been arrested. It was the first time since Darla’s accident I felt like I could breathe.”

Warren’s comforting hands smooth my back, and a new wave of anguish washes over me. I could lose this.

“With Henry in jail, I assumed the deals we made were a wash. I started rodeo again. I met you and life was looking good, but now he’s back and I can’t pay him anything more.”

“Why didn’t you go to the police when he showed up again? He already has a record.”

A very fair question. I considered it, but what if it left Darla alone?

“He threatened my family in the past, Warren. I have no reason to think he won’t do it again. So I didn’t go to the police because what if he does something to me? Or to Darla? I just…I can’t live with myself if more harm comes to her, Warren. I can’t.”

Warren remains silent, but he doesn’t let me go. I’ve probably soaked through his jacket with my tears, and even if he pushes me away, maybe he’s professional enough to let me stay as his partner in the ring. It’s the only way I can pay Henry and take care of my sister.

“You know this is extortion and illegal, right? He can’t just show up and threaten you for money your dad owed.”

“Yeah, but if I go to the police, then I have to share that I’m not exactly innocent in all this. I…did some things for Henry to take the heat off Dad.”

“What things?” Warren’s hands stop moving.

“Things I’m not proud of.”

Warren’s breath hitches, and when I press my hand to his chest, his heart beats a rapid rhythm under my palm.

“Dane…what did you do?”

This is it. This is the make-or-break moment. I’ve come this far, and I think I’d rather know Warren ends our relationship with the truth now than something else later. After a few breaths, I say the words I hoped to keep a secret forever.

“I threw a rodeo event so he could win a bet.”

His body stiffens immediately. “What?”

“I entered a rodeo. One off the pro circuit in a small town. I was hoping to get a bit of cash to help Dad out, but Henry got wind of it. He ran a lot of betting rings, and when he found out I was competing, he made me a deal. The jackpot was a decent amount, several thousand by then. If I threw the event and lost, he’d win a nice chunk of money, and he said he’d lay off Dad for a while.” It’s insane what you can convince yourself is the right thing to do when someone you love is in trouble. I just wanted to help Dad. He was dead a week later, and I’d tied myself to Henry with nothing to show for it. “So I did. I lost on purpose, so he’d win. My sister’s horse was meant to clear up the debt I’d made when I borrowed from him to keep us afloat.”

Warren doesn’t immediately pull away, but his stillness worries me. I hoped maybe he’d see my side of things and we could go on, but perhaps I was being too hopeful. After all, why should I get a second chance with the best man I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing?

Pushing against his chest, I put some distance between us.

“I understand if you want to part ways, but do you mind taking me back to my truck? I’ll give you all the space you need, Warren.”

It’s so unusual for Warren to remain silent for this long. He throws all the items from the truck bed into the back seat and silently drives the few minutes back to the ranch. The silence breaks my heart, and it hurts far too much.

When he pulls up next to my truck, I unbuckle and hope he might reassure me, but his gaze remains down.

“Thanks for everything, Warren. If you want to talk, you have my number.” I swallow hard. “I’m sorry.”

After closing the door, I drag my feet to my truck parked nearby. Everything feels slow, like I’m trying to run against a strong current. My truck starts, and as I turn to leave the yard, the headlights catch on Warren standing there watching me.