Page 79 of Roping My Rival

“I’m used to that.” He squeezes a hand on my shoulder. “Take dessert to go. We won’t mind.”

With that, he leaves me and Dane on the porch, and I inhale the fresh mountain air. Dane remains quiet, and when I finally sneak a peek at him, he’s gazing off into the meadows with an almost melancholy look.

“Hey. You okay?”

“Yeah.” A long silence settles as we stand on the porch together. “Can we go somewhere to talk?” Dane’s voice wavers, and I swallow hard.

“I was thinking the same thing. I know just the place.”

Warren pulls his dad’s truck into an empty field a few kilometres from the ranch. He drives into the barely visible lane with the confidence of someone who’s been here so often he could drive here blindfolded.

“This is the place. The pocket with the bright stars I told you about.” He unbuckles and grabs a bag from behind the seat. “Come on.”

Following him outside, I join him at the back of the truck.

“I had a reason for not taking my truck. The best way to experience this place is from the back of a truck, looking up. The gooseneck hitch in mine ruins that.” I watch as Warren expertly unrolls a mattress pad, flops a long pillow down, and spreads out a blanket. “Get comfy.”

After he lowers himself onto the mattress, I hop up into the back and join him. The mattress is barely a double, and it’s a tight squeeze to make us both fit. Warren adjusts, and after we squirm around for what feels like forever, we finally settle on a position with our legs tangled together in the middle so we can remain on our backs to see the stars.

After several minutes of silence in the darkness, I clear my throat.

“What your dad said about us being a great team…that meant a lot. I think he’s right.”

“So do I. The reason I hated team roping before was that I felt like I could never trust the other person. Maybe it’s a bit like a romantic relationship that way.”

We stare up at the sky, and Warren was right. It’s so black out here, the stars pop out of the sky and feel so close you can touch them. This feeling of wanting everything I could have with Warren swamps me. He’s offering it with his silence as he waits for me to talk here in one of his favourite places.

Warren’s hand finds mine in the darkness, and it’s the push I need to open the door a little wider. To tell him the ugly truth and risk losing everything all over again.

“What I want to tell you, I’m not proud of. You know about Darla’s accident, and you know I stole gas before my mom died. I’m afraid that if I tell you the rest… I-I don’t want to lose this.”

Warren’s hand squeezes mine tighter, and neither of us moves our heads. We stare up into the vast night sky. Maybe because it’s easier to talk into the darkness instead of watching the features of someone you love collapse with betrayal.

“I won’t promise you something before I know what it is, Dane. I want to. I really do, but I don’t think there’s anything I won’t understand. I’ve been through a lot, and I think if anyone can understand, it’s me.”

My stomach feels like it might rebel the longer I wait, but Warren is unexpected. I never thought I’d have a chance at a good life. One with a life partner, rodeo, and Darla all together. My reality, until coming to Kissing Ridge, was a nomadic life. Living in my truck and moving to room rentals when the weather got cold. Rodeo was good money, and as a roper, I could do it longer than other events, but I’d grow old and then what?

A future wasn’t years away. I lived by seasons and only a month at a time. Henry showing up erased my hopes of planning longer than those short time chunks. If I were honest with myself, and that was hard, he made me feel like I was on the edge of a cliff, and one wrong move would send me hurtling.

Warren will catch me, and as much as I don’t want to be saved by someone, I have to be honest with him. It’s not fair to drag him into this if he wants no part of it.

So I finally open my mouth and talk.

“After my mom died, we had people help with Darla. Dad picked up another job and was barely home. Then people just stopped helping. They had their own jobs and family, and I understand their generosity can only stretch so far. I was working as an apprentice at the same mechanic shop my dad worked. I didn’t have time for rodeo anymore. Dad went from job to job, and I went from job to Darla. She was alone for several hours at a time, a few days a week.”

Those few hours when she was alone were the most tense. I didn’t know if she might have fallen or gone for a walk and gotten lost. Maybe she tried to make dinner and cut off a finger. I just didn’t know, and since the bills needed to be paid, it had to happen. It wasn’t good for her, but we had no other options.

“Any money I had saved from rodeos paid for the help I could find for her. I was already good at siphoning gas, which I felt was necessary. The time between pay cheques sometimes felt like a year, and I needed to get to work to keep getting paid. It was a cycle. What I didn’t know was that my dad had found a cycle of his own, and it was a hell of a lot worse than stealing gas in a parking lot.”

Wiping at my nose and blinking furiously, I’m extremely grateful Warren brought me to a dark place.

“I’ve never told anyone this before,” I whisper hoarsely, and Warren’s thumb strokes the back of my hand. I wish I knew before I fell in love that it wasn’t all rainbows and roses. Maybe I wouldn’t have let myself get so close if I knew it would be this painful to share.

“Are you okay?” Warren asks. “I know speaking things out loud can be hard.”

“I’m as okay as I can be. You might not like the rest.”

“Maybe not. But I do like you, Dane. An awful lot. So I’m going to listen.”