Page 31 of Roping My Rival

Jesse forces a smile, clearly picking up on the tension that I hope doesn’t follow us into competition. “Great. Let’s do it.”

Dane is like a wall again. No emotion. Nothing but a game face, and I suppose that’s all we need at this point in time.

Perform in the ring. Make Dad happy and promote the school.

I need nothing else from Dane Walker.

A perfect lie I can keep repeating until I believe it.

It’s days like today that I wish my sister were better so we could talk like we used to. I’ve never missed her more than I do now, even though I’m sitting right next to her.

It’s a gorgeous sunny afternoon, and we walked to the store for ice cream. Now we’re sitting on a bench at the park, and I’ve never felt more isolated and alone.

“I love ice cream,” Darla says for at least the fifth time since we found the bench.

“Me too, Dar. Do you ever get ice cream at home?”

She scrunches her nose. “Yes, but it’s gross. No tiger tail. Only vanilla.”

That makes me smile despite the black cloud hovering, and I decide to just talk to her anyway. Maybe she still might have something to add, or it could stimulate her. I still hope that one day her brain injury will disappear enough for the old Darla to return. I love her no matter what, but…she was and is my only friend. My best friend.

“I met this boy,” I begin. Just like how we would both start conversations as kids in her room when our parents couldn’t listen in.

“Is he cute?” She giggles and licks her ice cream.

“Devastatingly handsome.” She pauses, eyebrows scrunched, and I realize my error with the word. “It means he’s very handsome. The most handsome.”

“Okay. Did you go out with him?”

“Not exactly. He…he doesn’t like me much, and that’s my fault.”

She shakes her head. “Impossible. You’re the best brother in the world, Dane.” Darla grins at me, and I brush a bit of orange ice cream off her cheek.

“Thanks, Dar. I…there are things he doesn’t know about me. About us.” She turns to me mid-lick. “If he knew, I think it could make him hate me less, but I’m afraid if I tell him, he’ll hate me more.”

“You mean about Dad?”

Darla’s memory, unfortunately, still holds the bad stuff. For one bright ray of time, I hoped she’d never remember her accident or what happened in the years after it. It’s one of those shitty life things I wished I didn’t have to learn. Brain injuries are never the same for everyone.

“Yeah. About Dad. I made some assumptions about this guy’s life, and I was wrong about it.” With a shaky exhale, I whisper, “I kissed him.”

Darla almost drops her ice cream as she squeals. “You did!? Did you like it? Tell me.” Again, I’m launched back to better days of our lives and miss them so fiercely it aches in my bones.

“I liked it, yeah.”

“Is he your boyfriend now? I have a boyfriend.”

“What? Who?”

“Quinn. I share my Rolos with him. He likes you.”

I laugh softly. “He’s a good guy.”

“So, do you have a boyfriend, too?”

“No.” I shake my head. “I wish I did, but…”

This conversation makes me feel worse. I don’t want Warren to be a boyfriend. I wouldn’t mind someone like him in my bed, but I can’t have a relationship. He screams commitment from every pore. I just need to work with him and stop daydreaming about different times. We butt heads too much to have a relationship while competing.