Page 22 of Roping My Rival
“Not exactly.” I shake my head, trying to say this right. “I asked if he’d done it before, and he admitted a few times, but when I told him he could owe me if it made him feel better, he got right pissed off. He was going to sit in his truck and wait for someone else. He said he wouldn’t owe anyone anything again. That just felt off to me.”
“When did this happen?”
“Almost five years ago now. It was the last time I saw him. Then he didn’t show up the next year, and I still buckled under the pressure and lost to someone new. I had that…mental health break and came back expecting to keep losing to him. But he never came back, and I kept losing.”
I had hoped Dane was the reason I could never perform under pressure. When it became obvious he wasn’t the reason, I lost my excuse. Confronting my inadequacies was a bitch, and I preferred lying to myself most days.
“You know we’re all proud of you no matter what, right? Just because you don’t have the buckle you want doesn’t mean you’re a failure.”
“I know. It’s just…”
It’s a feeling I can’t always put into words is what it is. I’m not ashamed of myself. Most days, I’m pretty fucking proud of what I’ve done despite my challenges. I don’t want to keep Jesse up longer, though. His last blink lasted longer than usual.
“If you’re okay for the night, I’m gonna head home.”
Jesse’s soft gaze stays on me until I have to make eye contact. He’s persistent that way. Or maybe it’s the brotherly bond. Either way, it always works.
“Okay. Thank you for everything tonight, and if you ever want to talk, you know it can stay between us. Just like always, War. You’re still my big brother.”
Smiling, I shake my head as I stand. “I’m barely a year older than you, and you’re taller. But yeah…I know. Love you, Jess.”
As I walk to the front door, he calls out. “I’m just gonna fall asleep right here and now. Lock it behind you, please?”
“I will.”
After slipping on my shoes, I exit and close the door gently. Using my key, I lock the deadbolt before walking to my truck.
The entire drive home, I’m stuck in my thoughts with Dane being front and centre. His number still sits in my contacts on my phone. Newly added when Jesse mentioned that if we’re partnering, we need to work together. I appreciate him giving me Dane’s number and not the other way around.
Rodeo season starts soon, and we’ll need to register, pay fees, and, unfortunately…practice.
The farmhouse is quiet when I let myself in, and after grabbing a snack, I go to my room. Like every night, I check on my rabbits and fill up their water before getting ready for bed. It’s not until I’ve done everything I can to delay contacting Dane that I open a new text message.
Once it’s sent, I turn off my phone and slide into bed.
I’m definitely not thinking of what brought Dane back into my life and rodeo after five years. Or that I might actually be happy about that.
“I’m so fucked,” I whisper into my dark room. Nothing good has ever happened with me and Dane Walker.
“What smells so amazing?”
Pops grins at me as he removes a pan from the oven. “Cinnamon buns! I made them. Your dad is already in the barn, and Jesse is dropping off Maise soon. I figured it called for something fun to eat.”
“Doesn’t Dad sleep in anymore? It’s still early, and we have ranch hands to do all that.”
For a guy who says he’s retiring and wants to spend more time with family, he sure spends a lot of time out in the barn still.
“You know how he is.” Pops shrugs. “He likes his horses, and I think he wants to take Maise on a ride today.”
My gaze lands on the package of hot dogs thawing on the counter. He likely wants to roast hot dogs after a trail ride with his tiny, hot-dog-loving twin as well. I smile at the image because he really is an awesome grandpa.
“I’ll just make a coffee and head out to the barn before work. I’ll see if he needs anything.”
“I’ll pack a few of these buns for you to take. They won’t last long.”
“Thanks, Pops.”
My phone vibrates in my pocket as I make a mug of coffee. My pulse thrums when I see his name pop up.
