Page 53 of Rookie Moves

“Where are you sneaking off to?” Stassie asks, and I almost jump a foot in the air at the sound of her voice.

“Holy shit, Stas, you scared the crap out of me.”

She laughs. “Clearly. I’ve been standing here for a solid two minutes without you noticing.” She comes into my room and perches on the edge of my desk. “So? Where are you going?”

“Tyler is taking me into the city for the night.”

Her eyes widen gleefully. “Do you think…”

“That I might lose my virginity tonight?” I supply, lifting my suitcase onto the bed.

She nods.

“I mean… maybe? It would be the perfect opportunity for it. The privacy, knowing we won’t have a teammate banging on the door, asking to play ping-pong.”

“Nope, you’ll be too busy playing a different kind of ball game.” She wiggles her brows, lips twisting in a smirk.

I laugh, though it comes out shaky with nerves.

“Do you think you’re ready for it?”

I freeze in front of my closet, hands gripping my team clothing tight.

We’ve been doing these lessons for almost three weeks now, and while I know there’s so much left to learn, I do think I’m ready to take the next step. Especially with the way Tyler constantly checks in on me and asks for my consent—it makes me feel safer with him than ever before.

“Yeah, I think I am,” I tell her after a beat. “He’s been incredible, you know? Everything has been at my pace. He checks in with me all the time, making sure I’m okay and that I’m comfortable with what we’re doing.” I suck in a breath, feeling a bit more vulnerable now the reality of how significant tonight could be sinks in. “I think I’m ready for this.”

Stassie smiles, clearly approving of my answer. She stands and moves to step in front of me.

“But are you ready for it in here?” She taps on my chest with one finger. “It can’t be easy doing all this while actively crushing on the guy.”

It’s been no secret that I haven’t done a great job at keeping a lid on my feelings for Tyler since we started this arrangement. I’m trying so hard to keep it all contained, locked in a box that I can look back on when I’m alone with nothing but my hand and memories of Tyler’s skin on mine.

But no matter how hard I try, those feelings I hold for him are starting to grow and spill over until the lid can’t hold any longer.

“It is what it is,” I say eventually, the weight of resignation torpedoing my good mood.

I throw some clothes into my case ready for tomorrow, then unplug my phone charger from the wall and throw that into my backpack. I zip it up, trying to ignore Stassie’s stare burning a hole in the side of my head.

“Colby…” she sighs, sympathy laced in her tone.

“Don’t, okay?” I snap, then wince because it isn’t her fault I’m in this mess. Sighing, I add, “I knew the risks when I asked him to help me, so if I end up hurt at the end of all of this, the only person I have to blame is myself.”

I pick up my backpack and shrug it onto my shoulder, then finally look at my closest friend in the eye. Her eyes are filled with worry, brows creasing in a frown. I hate that I’m causing her to feel like this.

“Sometimes, when you try to protect yourself, you end up hurting yourself in the process, and pain is the price you have to pay to stay safe,” I say, offering her a lopsided smile.

She tugs her lip between her teeth, and I can tell from the heavy expression on her face that she wishes things were different for me.

I do too, but sometimes, even when you have a future full of opportunities, there are parts of your life you have to sacrifice to make them happen.

I hold out my arms, and when she steps into them, I wrap my arms around her small frame in a hug. She squeezes my waist as tight as she can, and I smile.

“I’ll be okay,” I tell her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“I know you will, but it doesn’t stop me from giving a shit about you, Colby McKay.” She takes a step back and smooths her hand over my hoodie, wiping away the smudge of makeup she left behind. “Will you text me if it happens?”

“I will. I’ll tell you everything.”