Page 107 of Rookie Moves

“I don’t want to be lying in bed when I’m eighty and regret not going after the things that make me happy,” I’d told him as we sat on the deck in his backyard. “I don’t want to regret things in life, but right now, being here is my biggest fucking regret.”

To give him credit, Joey has been extra attentive since. He’s taken me to our favorite diner a few times, and we’ve been to a couple of baseball games. He drags me to lunch every day when he doesn’t have a meeting, but it doesn’t compensate for the fact my feelings haven’t changed.

I don’t want to be here, and I can’t see myself ever being happy here.

“Come into my office for a minute?” he asks, a pleading look on his face.

Sighing, I push my chair back from the desk and follow him into his swanky office. There are certificates framed on one wall and photos of him with his top-tier clients, and a bookshelf on the other, filled with leather-bound books I don’t think he’s ever read.

The whole thing screams Dad, but if Joey’s happy, who am I to judge?

Dropping down onto the tiny-ass couch in front of a glass coffee table, I huff out a breath and cross my arms over my chest. “What?”

Joey perches on the front of his desk. “I’ve had an idea.”

“Sounds dangerous,” I mutter.

Ignoring my jab, he flips me off with a grin. “An idea that might make you stop looking like a zombie and more like a happy meerkat.”

“Go on.”

“What if I made a proposal to present to Dad regarding remote working? I’d detail not only the financial benefits for the business, but also include studies on how it improves productivity and mental well-being. That way, you can continue to work for Dad but be based wherever it is you want to go. All you’d need is a computer and an internet connection.”

“Great idea, but I don’t want to work for Dad though.”

Joey rubs his hand over his jaw. “You know he’ll flip his shit if you leave?”

“Yeah, I do. But I don’t want this life, Joey.” I wave my hand around the office. “The corporate life isn’t for me, and if Dad can’t accept that, then that’s his problem, not mine.”

“What will you do?”

“I don’t know, but isn’t that part of the fun, figuring it all out?”

“What if he cuts you out of his will?” he counters, and I bark out a laugh.

“Joey, I couldn’t give a shit about the money. If Dad values his business more than his son’s happiness, then I don’t want anything to do with it. I’ve never been money-driven. I’ve always been someone who chases the high that comes from winning a game or when I finally master a song I’ve been learning on the guitar. It’s never been about the money or the pretentious titles or how far I can climb up the ladder.”

Joey ducks his head, his shoulders slumping in a way I haven’t seen on him since we were kids.

“I’m sorry I never realized just how much you didn’t want to be here.”

I shake my head. “It’s not on you, Joe. We’ve never exactly had the kind of home where talking openly about what we want is encouraged.”

“But I should’ve noticed. I’m your big brother. I’m supposed to look out for you and stick up for you. Instead, I’ve been pushing you into doing something you didn’t want to do.”

Oh, shit. I didn’t want my brother to feel bad in all of this.

Running a hand through my hair—something my dad lost his shit over when I refused to cut it—I let out a heavy sigh.

“My happiness isn’t your job. It’s nobody’s job except my own, and I’ve been too chickenshit to accept that until now.”

“Where will you go? Back to Massachusetts?”

“Maybe. But I’m open to going anywhere. My biggest concern right now is I don’t have enough money to cover rent once I’ve paid for a flight out of here. You know Dad will cancel my card the second I leave.”

Joey picks at his lips with his fingers, his brows creasing in a frown.

“I could lend you some money,” he suggests after a beat of silence. “If he does. I have some saved I can give you.”