Page 50 of Cattle Stop

Fuck him. Treating this morning like any other, when Cooper’s falling all over himself after a single drunk fumble.

He draws his shoulders up. “Got an idea of where to start?”

Sticks snap under Whit’s running shoes as he heads into the woods. He probably doesn’t even really know where he’s going. Still, Cooper follows him, pushing branches away from his face and sidestepping a puddle when Whit does. Like a fucking magnet, Cooper thinks as he trails after that broad back, as if he were in high school all over again, drawn toward Whit and fighting that damn pull every step of the way.

The only difference is that back then, he wasn’t old enough to drink himself into a mistake, so chasing cows wasn’t this nauseous, hungover drudgery, singed through with too many memories.

So much simpler back then, all of it. Before that kiss, he thinks, and his cheeks flush hot. But no, the farm really was more manageable. A smaller herd, when they made their escape and led everyone on a merry chase. And this patch of woods was thinner when Cooper started spending summers here, less overgrown. In the years since, the understory has filled in, and soon enough, it’ll be an impenetrable tangle of saplings and fallen logs that Whit and Cooper can’t move through at all.

If…if there’re even cows around here to chase when that happens.

Cooper rubs his fingers over his mouth. His throat hurts. He clears it, though the sound makes Whit turn around.

“Do you see them?”

“Oh,” Cooper says. “Oh, no, I just…”

“Their tracks?”

“I can’t imagine Drew really selling this place.”

“What?”

“Never mind.” That wasn’t what he’d meant to say. He didn’t mean to say anything at all. Silence was working so well for them, and now Whit’s staring as Cooper starts toward another patch of woods.

“Did Drew say something?” Whit asks.

“No, you were the one who told me—I have no idea, why would I know?”

“Because you have this whole plan.”

“The cheese? And Brad, I’m trying, but—”

“Oh God, Brad.” Whit touches his forehead. “Right. Brad.”

“What the hell do you not like about Brad?”

“I thought you said you were going to fix the farm.”

“I’m trying, I just—” Can’t hold a real conversation, Cooper adds to his list. Ass. “I was just thinking about it. And Drew. But whatever, forget it.”

Though Cooper can’t. He chews over the thought like a cow with a mouthful of cud, his headache churning it back around again as he tries to brush it away.

“Are you nervous?” Cooper finally asks.

“That we’re never going to find the cows?”

“That Drew really will sell the farm?”

Whit runs his fingers into his hair and stares off towards the woods as if the stand of trees will cough up a wayward cow. “It’s fucking terrifying. I’d have to find something new. And it’d suck. I’m not, whatever, like you. I’d be awful at it.”

You absolutely would be, Cooper nearly says. He can’t even imagine it, Whit stumbling through job applications and trying to fit his life into a new shape. A new place to live, new roommates, unless wherever he ends up, he and Penny keep living together.

Which hurts to think about, Drew off on his own, if he didn’t follow the two of them. Drew and Sadie in some sort of sad, gray apartment, only a tiny square of grass for Sadie to laze around on, and the fridge full of pre-sliced cheese from the grocery store.

Awful. All of it.

“We’ll find the cows. They’re probably already on their way back,” Cooper says. “And you’d be fine. You have your parents nearby, it’s not like it’d even be that far to move.”