Page 61 of Reins

Ros is only here because she’s a victim, not because she wants to be. I have to stop pretending she’s enjoying my company. My job is to get her healthy and safe enough to be independent.

Not bribe her to stick around to cure my loneliness. She’s barely in her twenties and I’m almost forty, what the fuck do I expect?

Anything more than friendship won’t happen.

“It’s Christmas, Cade. I haven’t seen you in over a decade.” Mom’s soft words hit like a sledgehammer. “This is the first time I’ve been this close to you. You’ve always been a thousand miles away.”

I take a deep breath and hold it longer than I should. “I know, Ma. I just…It’s complicated.”

“Cade, I love you. If you’re worried about your brother, I’ll make sure he’s polite. His new wife is wonderful, I know you’d like her. I just want everyone together at least once before I die.” She tries to laugh, but I can hear the sadness behind it.

“I’ll see. No promises.” I’d rather stay here where I know I can make Ros happy than go to a place I’m sure will make me miserable.

There’s no way Mason has forgiven me, even if he has a new family. He’ll always blame me for ruining the one he had.

It’s going to take more than a shadowy photo to make him understand.

If I know my brother, his stubborn ass will blow up long before he accepts the truth. I don’t want to fight with him today. Now, if I can pin something final on the Bailey brothers, that would be different. Then I’d at least earn a listen from him.

She’s quiet for a long time. “I won’t tell anyone you’re coming until I know for sure. I hope to see you, son. I love you.”

“You too. I’ll call if I change my mind.” Frowning, I end the call.

I wish I could hit a button and make all of this shit easier. None of it is though.

With a groan, I push to my feet and go back into the living room. “Sorry,” I grunt and scoop up our coffee cups from the low table in front of the couch. “Want more?”

Rosalyn’s big blue eyes are an alluring distraction from the weight of my mother’s request. “No thank you.” With a small grimace, she readjusts herself on the cushions.

Fuck. “Sore?”

Her lips thin as she nods. “I’ll be okay.”

“Rosalyn? Do you know what my favorite thing is?” I scowl down, gripping the back of the wooden chair in frustration. “Not seeing you in pain. Want some more anti-inflammatories?” I pick up the bottle and shake it like a maraca in her general direction.

Shit. It’s nearly empty.

“Yes, please.” She lifts the corner of the blanket and shifts her legs like she’s about to stand.

“Stay,” I bark, reaching for the fridge.

She freezes, rolling backwards into the cushions.

I know I shouldn’t be irritated by her not taking care of herself. She’s never been allowed to.

“I’m sorry, Ros.” I hand her the cold water and the pills. “I shouldn’t snap. This isn’t your fault.”

“I just—” Her chin trembles. “—I don’t want to mess up. Or be a burden.”

Damn it. I’m not doing her any good by making her afraid of me.

I drop my voice to a calmer tone. “You’re not. You’re my guest and I honestly enjoy having you here.” More than she realizes.

“Really?” Her hopeful expression breaks my heart.

I snort and grin to try and lighten the mood. “Yep. I don’t exactly get a lot of company. I’m a crotchety old asshole, so it’s a special treat when I get to take care of someone.”

When I see the corner of her mouth curve upwards, I take that as a win.