Page 13 of Uncrowned

No degradation. No snide remarks. Words wouldn’t come as I found the sense to nod. My shoulders went back, and I breathed in deep as I lifted my head high. The walk to the dining room was only a few feet. I cringed at the door being closed. It was never shut, but privacy seemed to be key for our first dinner. I didn’t like it.

Opening the door, John stood. His eyes were rounder than normal as he slowly headed towards me. It took everything I had to close the door, but I managed as he approached.

“Penelope.” Words didn’t continue as he took my hand and stepped back. For seconds, he let his gaze eat me alive. His free hand even came out hovering and moving down along the curve of my waist and hip. “Who knew this was hidden under those loose dresses you usually wear. You look exquisite.”

No blush. No tingling like when the stranger talked to me.

“Thank you, My Lord.”

He smiled, raking his teeth over his bottom lip as he walked me to the chair next to his so I could sit.

“There’s no reason to thank me. I’ve known you were special for a long time. After all, I tried to secure you for Pauly. I can’t say I’m sad that didn’t work out. I’d much prefer you for myself.”

My lips parted, and I let him settle in his chair.

“How is Pauly? I haven’t seen him in nearly two years.”

John’s smile wasn’t one of happiness, but I couldn’t decipher his emotions.

“He was home just last week. He came to see his mother for a few days. He’d like to return more except it’s hard for him to get away from work and his studies. Baxdrop has a very strict curriculum.”

“Of course.” I forced a smile. “I’m sad I did not get to see him. Maybe next time.”

“At least every holiday in the future.”

Was I smiling? It didn’t feel like it despite that I was trying my best.

“I can’t wait,” I managed.

“No?” One of his eyebrows lifted. “I can’t say I’d think you’d be in favor of this marriage. Surely, you’d much prefer Lord Shorelam. It was Edwin you went to see not too long ago, wasn’t it?”

“It was. He was delightful, but I’m not so sure we were compatible in the ways of a husband and wife. I didn’t know him very well, but there wasn’t…”

“Heat?”

“Y-Yes. There was none of that.”

I squirmed in my chair through the mortification. I didn’t want to talk about bodily reactions or lust to this man. I didn’t want to talk to him at all.

“I can see that. I dare say we’re much more suited than the two of you would have been. Edwin is a stiff. You would have been bored out of your mind. He doesn’t know how to treat a lady; I do.”

“Do you, My Lord?”

A smile pulled back slyly, and John grabbed my hand from the table, bringing it up to his mouth. When he flipped my wrist over and pressed his lips against the sensitive skin, I felt myself squirm again, and not in a good way.

“You have no idea. I’m going to spoil you, Penelope. I’m going to take you to places and show you things you couldn’t begin to imagine.” He held onto my hand, nibbling at the side of my thumb. “Where do you want to go first—on our honeymoon?”

“I-I…” I swallowed hard, engulfed by the dreaded crawling of my skin. My mind screamed to run. To rip my hand free. All I could do was let the dreams of a lifetime come flooding out over the fear. Maybe the need to ramble was a panic response, but it was working in my case. “Ocean. I want to go to a beach and stand in the sand. I want to feel the sun. I want to climb mountains so high and see trees so big they reach the sky. I want adventure.”

He laughed, biting into my flesh harder.

“And you’ll have it. I’ll show you everything. And you…” He reached over, scooting my chair closer. “You’re going to show me lots of things too, aren’t you?”

The door opened, and I jerked my hand down, my head swinging to the entrance. I didn’t know who or what to expect. Everything about the situation felt wrong. The need to flee was at an all-time high, but there was nowhere I could go.

Rose, our cook, came forward, placing down our plates. All I could do was sit like a statue and pray the anxiety thrumming inside of me wouldn’t cause me to break. If one tear fell, my entire facade would crumble. I’d fall apart, and I couldn’t afford that. If I ruined this, my father’s wrath was one I might not survive. My mother had hinted at the worst, and I believed her.

“Thank you, Rose.”