Page 8 of We Chase Shadows

‘Fairly on the nose, then?’ says Graham.

Rosie smiles. ‘Says the man hosting The Graham Norton Show.’

Graham laughs. He looks further down the line now, at the tough-guy British actor Max Highfield.

‘Now, Max, you and Denzel look like you’re having a ball in Rampage 8?’

Max Highfield gives a knowing smirk. ‘The thing about acting, Graham, in fact, the thing about life …’

6

The New Forest has never seen anything quite like the offices of We Solve Murders. Rosie D’Antonio has spared no expense. A suite of rooms horseshoes around an old stable yard at the far end of Brockenhurst Stables Business Park. Outside the windows, it’s forest and meadows and ponies and tractors; inside the office, everything gleams, sterile and bright.

Felicity wears a headset mic, like Madonna or a minicab controller, and, were she to be so minded, she could wheel her ergonomic office chair straight into their Operations Room, with wall-to-floor monitors such as you might see in a Netflix drama about a kidnapped president. Those monitors are currently showing an episode of Bargain Hunt in ultra-HD on sixteen screens at once. A couple from Reading have just made a £6 profit on a porcelain dog.

When she had started here, Felicity had imagined the office would become a bustling place, full of grizzled ex-cops and beautiful widows. Murders as far as the eye could see. But you’d be amazed at how few people actually need murders solving. Even those who do seem keener to pursue a more traditional murder-solving route. The police and so on. It is tremendously difficult to be an industry disruptor.

The phone rings, startling her a little. Even one of the ponies outside tilts his head at the alien sound. This will be because Rosie mentioned We Solve Murders on the chat show. The floodgates are sure to open now. Felicity sits up a little straighter.

‘Hello, We Solve Murders, Felicity speaking, how may I direct your call? Mmm hmm. Mmm hmm. I see.’

It’s a very nice woman from Virgin Broadband. They have an offer on, and Felicity is one of the lucky few to be selected to take advantage of it.

How long has Felicity been at We Solve Murders now? A few months? It had all seemed like a terrific idea. Her theatrical agency is taking up less and less of her time these days – although she has just booked Derek Williams an advert for a stairlift with an in-built kettle, so there’s life in the old dog yet. She and Tony had been getting closer and closer, and the idea of leaving Letchworth for the New Forest had appealed. Added to that, Rosie, who is bankrolling the whole operation, seems to have absolutely no idea what a normal salary might be. She had offered Felicity £80,000 on the spot, and when Felicity had looked shocked, had said, ‘Okay, okay, a hundred and twenty thousand.’

‘Our broadband needs are being met,’ says Felicity, who believes she might now be the richest office manager in Hampshire. ‘Do ring back if anybody gets murdered.’

In her heyday as an agent, Felicity had spent an awful lot of time negotiating with television companies, and she had thought that this new job would involve a similar combination of adrenaline and pure evil. But no such luck.

The phone rings again. What is it this time? Has Felicity thought of changing her electricity provider?

‘Hello, We Solve Murders, Felicity speaking, how may I direct your call?’

‘I’ve just buried a corpse,’ says a voice. Felicity sits up. ‘Well, I didn’t bury it myself, my bodyguards did, but that’s … you don’t need that level of detail, apologies. How soon can Rosie and the team get to Italy?’

Part Two

DEATH IN TUSCANY

7

Well, this is very much more like it. An Italian villa, a corpse and a threatening note. This, Rosie reflects, is why it’s such a good idea to go on chat shows.

She, Amy and Steve have been met at the door to Vern Blackwood’s villa by a muscular German bodyguard.

‘Thank you,’ she says to the German man. ‘I didn’t catch your name?’

‘Korbin,’ says Korbin.

‘Korbin with a K?’ asks Rosie.

‘Yes, but only at the beginning,’ says Korbin, leading them into the house.

‘Best place for it. I’m Rosie,’ says Rosie, holding out her hand to be kissed. Korbin shakes it instead.

‘I know,’ says Korbin. ‘I have noted all of your names.’

As he ushers them into a room and walks away, Rosie turns to Amy. ‘Remind me to add Korbin to my “to do” list.’