Page 36 of Defensive Indifference

Andrew turns my attention to practice. Marco is on fire today, throwing fastballs like they’re free and laughing his rear end off when none of us can hit them. Until I finally do, and it sails all the way into a homerun. Dustin and Eleanor cheer from the stands, lifting my spirits even more. I honestly cannot think of anything more soothing to my soul than hearing Dustin’s excited shouts and seeing that smile when he’s truly excited.

By the time practice winds down, I’m exhausted but still have lunch and the rest of the day to occupy a child. Eleanor offers a scant update on my father’s case, assures me things still look safe for Katie and me, then heads up to the main office to, as she put it, get some boring work done.

“Dustin, what do you think about a tour while Koa showers?” Andrew, who could use a shower himself, nods for me to go ahead, but I can’t think of anything better than showing Dustin around the park, maybe even hitting a few with him.

“Actually, you think that arm has a few left in it?” I ask.

Andrew tilts his head and nods. “Perhaps. Wanna hit a few?”

Dustin’s eyes widen at the prospect. “For real?”

“Sure, kid. Let’s go.” Spencer joins us, along with Marco and Boone, while the others shower and get on with their day. I’m reminded, yet again, of what a great group of guys I work with.

No, friends.

My friends, who, once again, have proven they’re in this for the long haul. Spencer nudges my shoulder with his and nods toward Dustin. “This is sure an advancement over throwing donuts at each other. Could it be she’s softening up to your charms?”

My stomach rolls. “No. Well, she’s softening up to me as a human being and friend, but she’s going on a date with another man tonight. Take from that what you will.”

“A date?”

“Yeah, you know, things beautiful women go on to find a suitable husband? A date. Not with me.” I bite back a frustrated growl in front of her son.

“I gathered that. Maybe you should ask her on a real date. Alone.”

“Aren’t you the one arguing I shouldn’t bring her into my family drama?” Slanting my eyes at him doesn’t do much good. He keeps yammering about drawing boundaries but exploring feelings at the same time. Falling for my sister has made him insane. That’s the only explanation, but he zips his lips when Dustin turns around and questions him about his hitting style. At least my friend knows when to be discreet, though he might be on to something. I could ask her on a date, take her out and prove that I am just as willing and able to bring her and Dustin into my world.

Would she even want that?

The crack of the bat distracts me from my musings, followed by Dustin’s triumphant yell. The kid nailed the ball so hard, he’s actually putting Boone to work chasing it down.

“Run!” I scream, because the kid can’t seem to believe he hit that ball, and his feet are frozen. He finally gets his legs moving, but Boone’s got his hands on the ball. He throws to Spencer, who pivots and throws to Marco, but he doesn’t manage to get to the plate in time. Dustin got to first base against a handful of pros, and it’s put a little swagger in his step.

He’s right. This is way better than school.

They guys are having the time of their lives, and I think I could get used to this. I could hang with this child forever, take whatever comes our way and make it all better, maybe do the same for his mother, if she’ll let me. Spencer’s suggestion comes to mind again, forcing me to take a good look at my reality. I can’t deny I have feelings for Evalina, can’t deny I really like her son, but more than anything, I can’t deny the thought of her going on a date with another man feels all wrong. It’s more than jealousy. It’s a foreboding, menacing cloud that inches closer as the hours pass. I can’t let her go that easily.

When Dustin is finally too tired to run anymore, we hit the showers and head out for lunch. Burgers, fries, and milkshakes, followed by a few hours browsing the sporting goods store. And even though I know Evalina is going to yell at me about it, I buy the kid a new glove and bat. He’s going to need them for the summer program anyway.

The boy has sparkles in his eyes all day long, and to think that I’m the one who put them there makes me a little more determined to ensure Evalina Renn knows I’m not going to be put in her friend category so easily. She’s going to know I’m an option, even if it kills every ounce of my pride to prove it. She, and her son, are worth it.

“Mom has a dumb date tonight,” Dustin says on the ride back to his apartment where Annie will meet us to watch him for the night.

“So I heard.” The awful taste in my mouth intensifies with every thought directed toward that impending date.

“I don’t like it.”

“Why not?”

Dustin shrugs. “He’s some guy that shows up at her work all the time. He ended up having a seat beside us at your game.”

I try not to gag at the thought that she met the man at the game I gave them tickets to and press a little. “You don’t like him though?”

“He’s okay, I guess, but he was such a show-off at the game.”

“Well, maybe he’s just a friend your mom wants to hang out with for a while.” Dear Lord above, please, please let her see this guy is not right for her or her son. He knows I can’t say it to her myself without getting donuts thrown at me.

“I hope not. He’s nice and all, but I don’t like how he acts. Like he’s…I don’t know…like he thinks he knows it all and Mom should look up to him or something.”