Page 16 of Defensive Indifference

Koa, on the other hand, stuffs his hands deeper in his pockets and says, “I swear, I didn’t know Dustin was your son when Coach Fuller asked me to help.”

A woman follows behind him, probably his girlfriend or something, but she sits on the far end of the bench with a stack of folders and a clipboard and gets right to work doing whatever it is women like her do. My gaze shifts from her to Koa, then goes my son, who is so beyond himself at this point, I couldn’t say no if I wanted to. Koa Keaton, Dustin’s absolute favorite player, is his one-on-one coach. Lovely.

“It’s…it’s fine. Um, I guess thank you for doing this. And for…for the flowers.” I ignore that my child is confused that I seem to know Koa—because truly I don’t…I don’t—and stand to meet Koa.

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you got them. I think Annie planned to steal them.” He chuckles, which is most definitely real, and rolls back on his heels. “So, Coach Fuller tells me Dustin has a lot of potential. I’m excited to see if we can bring that out of him. If you’re good with it, of course.”

“I…I…don’t know. I…” I brush sweat from my forehead and look down at my son, who looks up at me as if I’m about to ruin his entire life. Saying no because Koa and I have had a couple of disagreements is not an option. Surely, for my son, I can suck it up. “I guess, if you really don’t mind.”

“I really don’t.”

There’s something different in his tone, the way he addresses me, and it throws me off. Admittedly, I didn’t give him much of a chance this morning, but who could blame me after two failed attempts at being nice to the guy? Or not quite so nice the second time around, I guess, but this is different. This is my son, and if he hurts Dustin, I might have to kill him.

“It’s just that…” One more look at Dustin, and I know it will hurt him if I don’t let this happen. I grasp Koa’s elbow and pull him aside, out of my son’s eavesdropping range. “It’s just that he’s already been disappointed enough in his life, and I couldn’t stand it if…you know…you’re his favorite player and…” My mouth opens and closes too many times to be considered not weird, but Koa picks up on the reason for my hesitation.

“I get it, but I’m not going to give him one lesson and drop him. If Coach sees potential, then it’s there, and I’ll work with him until he’s confident enough to let it shine.” Koa shrugs and finally pulls his hands from his pockets. “Maybe we can start over? Hi, I’m Koa Keaton. I play for the Savannah Sharks, and recently my life sort of exploded. I did some dumb things to a very nice person, and for that I am truly regretful. As a genuine apology, I would love to mentor her son.” He offers me his hand, and I mindlessly give him mine to shake.

I don’t see any way this can go well, but if I resolve to keep my opinions to myself, maybe it will turn out okay. For Dustin’s sake, I agree. “Thank you, and I accept. I’m sorry I threw donuts at you.”

Koa chuckles. “I mean, at least they weren’t hot this time.” He thumbs over toward Dustin. “If you’re good with it, I’d like to see what he’s already got a good handle on and make a plan?”

I step away from him, definitely not noticing how beautiful his eyes are this close. It was hard to tell when I was angry and he was shouting, but the deep brown is a nice contrast to his dirty-blond hair.

“Oh. Yes, go for it.”

Koa turns toward the bench and motions for Dustin to join him. I’ve never seen my son leap to his feet to do anything he’s told so fast in my life. The prospect of meeting Koa alone has him running laps around himself in excitement.

At first, I’m not so sure it’s a good idea. Dustin’s insecurity comes, most likely, from a lack of a father figure in his life. With my parents gone, and my uncle living too far away, it’s always been hard to ensure a good, family-focused man is in his life. I haven’t dated since I was married, and making friends has always been difficult for me. Outside of his friend Camden’s parents, I don’t have friends with kids his age. My son has inherited my lack of self-confidence, but on the plus side, he loves God and prays often. I only wish his prayers were answered—that he’d have an earthly father someday—but that would require his mother opening her heart. That’s something I’m not sure I can ever do again.

A pop distracts me from my musings, and I jerk my head up in time to spy my son jumping up and down.

“That was an amazing hit! See, it only took a small adjustment. You’re going to be a great hitter someday, kid!” Koa gives Dustin a high five before pointing toward the pitcher’s mound. “Let’s see how you throw.”

“Can you hit a home run?” Dustin begs.

“I don’t know. Depends on the kind of heat you put on that thing. Let’s see what you’ve got.” Koa squares up and takes a few warm-up swings, then gets into position. Even his girlfriend has taken a break from her work to glance up and see what the fuss is about.

“Let her rip!”

Dustin throws and the first is a strike, which I suspect was meant to boost my son’s confidence. There’s no way Koa should have missed that. The second throw is a little tap and Dustin’s face falls. He’s here for the home run, and nothing short will bring that smile back to his face.

“Oh, come on? Is that all you’ve got?” I yell from the bench. Koa’s girlfriend chuckles and scoots closer to me.

Koa turns around, glares at me, and says, “All right, all right. I was trying to be gentle.”

“Gotta give the fans what they want, Mr. Keaton!” I shout.

He pauses, swings his bat around a few times, and grins. “Are you a fan?”

“I meant my son, and you know it. Give the kid a home run to chase.”

Koa’s grin widens as he turns to prepare. Maybe getting along with him won’t stink too much if he can take a little joking. It’ll be best if I can put the entire drama behind me and pretend this situation isn’t embarrassing.

“Hi, I’m Eleanor.” His girlfriend offers me her hand in a gentle shake.

“Evalina. It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too. Your son is precious. How old is he?”