Page 11 of Forever After Fall

I know this whole mishap was a complete accident on my part. I truly thought it was Jasper I was making out with in the dark. But it doesn’t change the fact that I was just minutes away from having sex with Anson. Jasper’s good friend. Or that I feel a second wave of shame wash over me when I think of all the things I said to Anson. I might have said them thinking it was Jasper, but I said them because they were true.

True about Anson.

His body. His dick. His mouth. His hands. I can still feel them on my skin. I still want him.

Oh my god.

Do I want Anson?

I can’t want Anson.

Anson is off-limits for a million reasons that everyone in this town knows. And a few that only I know.

I didn’t want Anson. I wanted Jasper. I want Jasper. The man kissing me right now is the one I want.

I kiss him back. I have to. Don’t I? I can’t hurt him because I made a mistake and confused the hell out of myself. And Anson. But apparently not Marlowe. Marlowe thought it all made sense even though she’d just seen me dancing and flirting with Jasper.

Oh god. I’m the problem now. I’m flirting with two of my friends’ brothers at the same time. Kissing one and wrapping my hand around another’s dick. All in what? Ten minutes. They don’t deserve that. Poor Jasper.

Jasper!

The man I’ve forgotten is kissing me because it feels so passionless. No spark. No flutter. No anything.

Shit. Fuck. Shit.

When he pulls away, a slow smile spreads on his face, and his eyes study mine.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” he confesses.

My heart is finally fluttering. But not the good kind. Not the oh-I-think-this-is-going-to-be-good flurry of excitement. No. The kind where I feel like I might be headed for a full panic attack, given the way it’s picking up speed in my chest.

“Excuse me.” A deep-timbre voice comes from behind me, and Jasper looks up and pulls me to the side, cheerfully greeting the man passing us by. I don’t need to look to see who it is. “Just need to get back to get some cake.” Anson skirts us completely without a second glance.

“Sorry, man!” Jasper calls after him, a punch-drunk look still on his face from our kiss.

“No problem,” Anson calls back in the exact same tone he told me that it was no problem in the closet.

No problem. No problem at all to him. He’s probably forgotten the whole incident already. Chalked it up to a silly mistake in the dark. Meanwhile, I can barely function.

“I… um.” I frown as I look at the floor.

“You okay?” Jasper asks, his hands rubbing the sides of my bare arms.

“No, actually. I’m not feeling great. No offense. I’m so sorry. I just think I had too many shots with the girls when we did the pictures, and now I’m… You know. All over the place,” I apologize.

I did have too many shots. I should feel a lot worse than I do, but royally screwing things up has a way of sobering you.

“You’re fine. I’m sorry.” His brow furrows. “Do you want a ride home? I can take you if you need me to. Or call a cab for you if you’d rather.” Jasper’s a gentleman through and through, even if he has a reputation as a heartbreaker.

“No. I’m good. Dakota’s got rooms for us. But thank you. I appreciate everything you did tonight. I’m so grateful.” My friend Dakota, one of the bridesmaids, owns the place along with her husband Grant Stockton.

I see the smile on his face waver. I’m screwing this up. I want to thank him and keep everything between us good, but I can tell by his reaction that he knows something’s up. He just doesn’t know what. I hope. At least for now.

“Okay. Get some rest. Sleep well. Let me know you’re all right in the morning? I can bring you breakfast.”

“I’ll let you know for sure. Thank you. And you too.” I thank him one last time before I take off down the hall again. I’m being so awkward, but I need to hurry. I have a million things to do.

Fix my face. Talk to Marlowe. Say goodnight to Hazel and Dakota and then hit my room. Hopefully, while avoiding Anson. I don’t think I can look at him again tonight. Not knowing what he knows. Seeing what he saw. And just now with Jasper? I might as well not exist, apparently.