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“Hockey has always come first, Viv. Always.”

“When you have a career that you love—like we do—it’s normal to think about it during the off-hours.” Vivian was guilty of doing the same, reading results at home after hours, considering avenues her patients could take as they dealt with medical issues, sometimes researching until the wee hours if necessary. Jesus, she just left her child for months to travel to Africa so that she could finish her book. “I like to think our dedication is what makes us both successful at our careers. People like us can’t just turn it off. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I’m not a good bet,” he said quietly. “I’m forty-four years old and set in my ways.”

“So this is about age?” she asked. “You think I’m too young?”

“No,” he replied, quickly enough that she knew age wasn’t really the issue. Or at least, not her age.

“Why are you doing this, Dean?”

“Because it’s the right thing.”

“Breaking this off before we’ve really even given it a chance is the right thing?” Vivian thought he’d understood her desire to wait a little while before announcing their relationship to their friends and families and Pip, but maybe he hadn’t.

One thing was clear. He wasn’t going to change his mind. Studying him, all she could see was resolve and the rigid set of his shoulders.

“It’ll hurt less now,” he said. “Before emotions get involved.”

It took everything she had not to scoff, because if he thought her emotions weren’t already hella involved, then he was a witless wonder. And now, her sadness and confusion were tinged with something else. Anger.

She had a lot of fucking emotions when it came to Dean, and the fact that he was sitting here, acting like this didn’t hurt, pissed her off.

She’d been imagining a future with this man, wondering what Christmas might look like if he was there to cut the Barbie dolls out of that impossible packaging, or how much fun summer vacations taken as a family would be. She’d even started considering how dinnertime might change into something a lot less casual than her and Pip eating at the coffee table in front of the television every night, watching Bluey and Wild Kratts.

“It sounds like there’s nothing I can say to change your mind.” Vivian needed to get the hell out of here before she dissolved into a puddle of tears.

“I’m sorry, Vivian.”

Vivian.

Not Viv. Not sunshine.

She nodded, watching as he rose. If she opened her mouth, she was afraid she’d beg him to stay, to rethink this.

Dean opened his wallet, tossing down more than enough money for their two unfinished drinks. Padraig was getting one hell of a tip.

He hesitated by the table, and for a moment, she thought perhaps he’d reconsidered.

If so, he thought better of it. Instead, he nodded once in farewell, then turned and walked out of the pub.

She watched him disappear into the afternoon. Only after she saw him climb into his car and drive away did she realize she’d been holding herself perfectly still. As if moving would make this real.

Across the room, someone laughed. Padraig leaned on the counter, talking to his pretty wife, Emmy, who was typing away on her laptop. Riley, the cook, delivered two shepherd’s pies to the people at the table next to Vivian’s, swearing they were her best ever.

Life continued with astonishing indifference while hers seemed to collapse. She lowered her head into her hands. She’d survived losing her parents. She’d found a way to move on after Phil’s death, building a life for her and Pip from the ashes.

But somehow, this hurt in a way she hadn’t expected.

Dean thought she deserved someone better, not seeming to realize just how much their time together had meant to her. He’d helped her turn a corner that she’d spent five years viewing as a stone wall, one she’d never be able to break through.

She’d never asked him to be perfect. She had only wanted him to be with her…to stay.

Vivian didn’t realize where she was going until she’d driven straight past her own house. Home meant being “on.” Pip was still sick and there was no way Vivian could hide her current devastation from Belle, who knew her too well.

Instead, she continued toward Victor’s house.

Belle would look after Pip until Vivian managed to pull herself together.