Page 207 of Harbinger

So many adventures we’ll never get to have.

“I wish we’d gone together,” I whisper. It hurts to admit it, because even though I know it’s true, something else is, too. “I’m glad I’m still here.”

A sob wrenches through me. “I’m glad I’m alive.” The tears begin to fall harder. “I just wish you were here, too.”

But I know it’s time to let his soul be at peace. I can’t keep him here forever. “Bishop came with me. He was there in the forest today.” I swipe at the tears. “I’m not alone anymore.”

The candle gutters a little, and a small smile slips past the sadness. “You would have liked him. Even if he was an asshole when you met.”

I can see the two of them, bickering over something ridiculous. Like what kind of wine I prefer. But Kieren would have liked the way Bishop makes me feel.

Because that’s all you want for your family. Not just for them to be safe. Or content. You want them to find the person who makes them complete. The person who sets their soul on fire. The one who doesn’t quite make sense, but who divides their life into before and after.

Kieren was my before.

“Thank you,” I whisper. “For always being there. For seeing me.”

The weight I’ve carried since that terrible night begins to lift.

“Thank you for being my brother.” I swallow as I reach for the lantern. “Keep an eye on me, though, okay? You know I can’t seem to stay out of trouble.”

I leave the Evensong at the altar and carry his light with me. The Stars burn overhead as I step outside. Bishop is waiting by the door. He doesn’t say anything. He just takes the lantern in one hand and mine in his other. The silence doesn’t feel heavy as we walk back to the cottage. It wraps around me like the cool night air, soothing. Peaceful.

A few conscripts pause to bow their heads as we pass, and when we reach the small clearing beside the cottage, I take the lantern again and place it on the ground, so the flame can light Kieren’s way back to the Stars. By morning, it will be gone, and his soul will be with them.

I thought I couldn’t leave it—couldn’t bear to turn away from that light. But now I know there’s a life waiting for me in the morning.

Because Bishop is my after.

But when I turn, Bishop isn’t looking at me. He’s staring up at the sky, starlight shimmering in his eyes.

“Thank you for letting me come with you,” he murmurs. “I’ve buried enough bodies, but I’ve never given an Evensong.”

My breath catches in my throat.

“I didn’t mourn my family,” he confesses. “Maybe that’s why my soul will never be at peace.” His gaze lowers to mine. “I think it’s time that I tell you how I died.”

I drop onto the sofa next to him, folding my legs under me. Trying to make myself small enough that I don’t spook him now that he’s finally opening up. With the queen’s summons hanging over my head, who knows when we’ll have another chance?

“My older brother was charismatic. A true politician. More so than even my parents were. But that charm came with ambition. When King Ophelian suggested Cassiel survey the Lost Continent …” Bishop breaks off, shaking his head.

His brother’s name. Cassiel. I tuck the information away, adding it to the pieces of Bishop I’m picking up here and there.

“King Ophelian favored expansion?” The king hadn’t seemed that serious for the few minutes I met him.

“You’re surprised.” But he nods.

“He didn’t strike me as very forward-thinking,” I admit. “He had plenty of people to think for him. And his sister?”

“That remains to be seen. She’s young.”

I can’t help but laugh. “So are we.”

He lifts my hand and kisses my wrist, where my pulse jumps. “I lived a lifetime in pain before meeting you.”

My cheeks heat. I’m unsure how to respond. Unable to cross some invisible line.

He looks away but keeps holding my hand. “Since the Last War, patrons were meant to balance the throne. Five families, five magics, all of us bound to the crown and one another. It was supposed to be a system where no bloodline could take too much. But now … now there are plenty who would take the throne if given the chance.”