Page 158 of Harbinger

I experienced that once. And once was enough.

By the time we leave the astrolatory, my arms are trembling in that deep, delayed way that promises consequences tomorrow. Cold has worked its way into my joints and sweat clings beneath my coat despite the winter air. I clear my throat and shoulder my pack higher, ignoring a twinge in my back. “I suppose we won’t train much the next two days.”

Guests have already begun arriving for the upcoming holiday—some from within Vennaro, others traveling from the various Marius outposts throughout the kingdom. Bishop’s responsibility to greet them all is already limiting our training time. Although I suspect he’s only doing it to remind them that he’s watching their every move.

I’ve even been warned that he’d prefer I relocate to a more secure section of the house. I haven’t had the guts to ask him exactly where in Miradores he considers secure enough.

But Bishop slows a fraction, brow furrowing as if he’s still stuck in his own head and not following our conversation at all.

“Twelvetide,” I remind him.

He scoffs. “I’ll take any excuse to avoid my family.”

Something hollows out beneath my ribs, a quiet collapse I don’t have the energy to stop this late in the day. I won’t be with my own family for Twelvetide for the first time in my life.

Likely for the rest of my life, and one of them …

I swallow the thought like I always do.

“You could invite them here,” he murmurs, guessing why I’ve suddenly gone quiet.

Sometimes I think the man has carved a space in my brain and sits there listening to everything that I’m thinking.

I shake my head. “That’s not necessary. There are plenty of people coming already.”

And Broderic wouldn’t say yes anyway. He still hasn’t responded to the message I sent about Kieren’s death.

I guess we’re both dead to him now.

“Speaking of Twelvetide,” he says, drawing my attention back to him, “I’m giving you one of your presents tonight. I know it’s early.”

“One?” I blurt out. I didn’t even consider getting gifts, and Bishop has gotten me multiple? “I didn’t get you anything.”

And now he knows that.

Why has it become so hard to keep my mouth shut around him?

“Relax.” He reaches over and takes my pack as we squeeze through the narrow passage in the retaining wall. But he doesn’t hand it back once we’re through it. He slings it over his shoulder as we start down the steep slope toward the Bellatorum.

He never lets me carry it anymore.

“It’s not a big gift,” he continues as we take the large stepping stones across the waterfall’s tiered brook.

As soon as I reach the other side, I pause to rub out a cramp in my calf.

Bishop sighs as he watches me. “Actually, it’s more of a gift to me.”

“Well, in that case,” I say dryly, wincing as I straighten.

“Back or shoulders?” he asks, not bothering to mask his frustration. It’s become our little game. He expresses his concern and disappointment that I refuse to admit that I’m in pain and would benefit from the steam baths, and I ignore him.

“I’m fine.”

He mutters, “Stubborn.”

And our game concludes until the next time we play.

But when we reach the paved walkways of the Bellatorum, he continues through the proving grounds instead of heading toward the house. I halt in my tracks.