Page 101 of Harbinger

“You were out there a while.” Bishop’s gravelly voice startles me, and I grab the handrail to keep myself from tripping.

I turn toward him, clutching the railing as blood begins to pound in my ears. He’s standing at the base of the staircase, glowering like my father used to when he caught me sneaking in after dark. Question after question hits me as I stare back at him. If Kieren is caught deserting, will Bishop be the one to execute him for treason? Will he cut him down as ruthlessly as he did that thief in the alley for using forbidden magic?

I shake my head a little as if I can clear my thoughts. “We had a lot to catch up on.” I keep my voice light, hoping he can’t hear the trembling undercurrent in every word.

A muscle works in Bishop’s jaw. “Like what?”

He starts toward the steps, hands balled into fists like he already suspects something. Panic bleats in my chest, and I scramble for an answer that doesn’t include Kieren’s foolish plan to run away to the Lost Continent.

“Like the fact that you were in Damalis.” I swallow and lift my chin. “Why did you lie about being in Wintour?”

That makes him pause. “I didn’t. I stopped in Wintour on my way.”

“But you were in Damalis most of the time,” I accuse.

“Doing my job,” he shoots back. “Do you think I like being away from … here all the time? Some of us don’t have the luxury of staying home.”

“This isn’t my home.” He flinches, but the angry rush of heat surging through me makes each word easier than the last. “You should have told me what you were doing.”

His eyes narrow farther. “When I returned, you were heartbroken over the letter your best friend sent. It didn’t seem like the time to mention it.”

I am so fucking sick of people deciding what I can handle. “That wasn’t your call!”

“Did he tell you I was there to establish new troops at the eastern outpost?” he demands. “To protect your family?”

Just like he promised to do. The reminder ratchets my heart rate up another notch. Maybe I can appeal to whatever nobility or sense of duty made him do that. “Take Kieren’s name off the conscript list. He shouldn’t be here. Shouldn’t be a conscript.” There’s a battle in his eyes. My chest tightens as I watch him wage it. “Please.”

He tears his gaze from mine. “It’s not as simple as striking his name off a list.”

“It is for you,” I say, voice breaking. “You do it for all those kids.”

But he shakes his head. “Kieren is past the age of majority. He’s a man. Not a child. And he signed up at the eastern outpost. His name has already been reported to the crown.”

The air empties from my lungs, and I nearly collapse against the railing. The very outpost protecting my family has put my best friend—my brother—at risk.

Bishop takes a step closer, worry creasing his face. “He’ll be safe here. I’ll see to it.”

It’s too late, but I can’t tell him that. “Thank you.” I force myself to say it. Force myself to pretend that I’m not shattering to pieces on the spot. Kieren is leaving either way, and if his name is on the crown’s list …

“And I’ll be more welcoming.” His throat slides as if the promise is costing him something.

I nod, a numb realization slowly spreading through me. My voice breaks as I ask, “Because you feel responsible for my family?”

“I feel responsible for you,” he says, and a vise grips my chest. Bishop feels a duty to protect me. He made that obvious last night. Not Kieren. And if Kieren runs away … Which means there’s only one way to protect Kieren now. I know what I have to do.

“I should go to bed,” I murmur, unable to look Bishop in the eyes. He deserves better than this.

“Arden.” My name is soft on his lips, and something splinters in my chest, threatening to crack open. “I want—”

A fresh peal of Taliesin’s laughter interrupts us, and I seize the excuse to rush up the stairs, not trusting myself to continue this conversation any further. Something stops me when I reach the top, but when I turn around, Bishop is striding out the back door. It slams behind him.

I stare for a moment. Knowing what I have to do doesn’t make it any easier, so I continue to my bedroom.

I have a little over an hour until I need to meet Kieren. I throw a few things into a bag, trying to ignore the traitorous ache in my heart. Bishop will be better off when I go. My family will be safe thanks to the eastern outpost, and once news spreads that the harbinger has fled, things will go back to normal for all of them.

And if Kieren and I are caught, I might be the only thing that protects him when he’s charged with treason. I can’t stop Kieren from running, but I can say it was my idea. It might be enough to sway Bishop’s mercy.

And if we aren’t caught, we’ll start over. Build a new life together like Kieren said.