Page 104 of Handle Me

I was already fucking this up. “He’s probably right,” I continued before I lost my nerve. “Maybe today was a fluke.”

“Maybe it was a miracle,” she challenged me.

“Lola, racing has been my whole life,” I explained to her. “It was all I ever wanted—”

“I get it. You don’t have to spare my feelings.”

I was really fucking this up.

She tried to pull away again, but I wouldn’t let her go.

“Until you,” I said, and she stopped fighting me. I laughed softly. “And now everything has changed.”

“And you don’t know what you want?” she guessed, her lips flattening into a thin line.

“I want you,” I said incredulously. Clearly, I was going to have to work on my boyfriend skills. “That’s why I’m quitting.”

“Quitting?” Her eyebrows shot up. “I don’t understand.”

“Racing. I’m done.” It felt good to have it off my chest. I hugged her.

She clung to me for a second before pulling back. “You can’t quit racing. I won’t let you.”

“It’s not a matter of letting me. If I have to make a choice, I choose you.”

Lola studied my face for a moment before pushing onto her toes to kiss me.

“I choose you, too,” she murmured, “but you aren’t giving up racing.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re stubborn?” I asked her.

“I am the boss.”

I couldn’t help but smile at that. Letting her go, I took her hand and guided her toward the couch. I sat down and pulled her into my lap. “Wilkes needs to know my head is in the game, but if I’m in London, I can’t make that type of commitment.”

“Wait.” She blinked rapidly. “You want to move to London?”

“That’s where you are.” I shrugged. There was a lot to like about the city. I just had to get used to my overbearing brother, but I could handle him.

“You’re not moving to London,” she said firmly.

“So, you’re moving here?” I pressed, already knowing the answer.

“Hell, no.” Her laughter was far from soothing.

“Then, how are we going to make this work?”

Lola shifted until she was facing me directly. She took my face in her hands. “I love you, but that doesn’t mean we have to have all the answers. We’ll figure it out as we go.”

“Not much of a plan,” I grumbled. The truth was that I didn’t want her to be in London while I was here. I wanted her where I could see her, kiss her, touch her.

“Actually, I do have a plan. Hear me out.” She took a deep breath and launched into it. “I heard what Wilkes said before I left about keeping you driving like that, and I think he’s right. You’ve worked too hard for this to just give it up, Anders.”

“I’m not sure I can handle racing and dealing with the press and giving you unlimited orgasms,” I admitted to her.

Her eyebrow arched. “Unlimited?”

“A veritable buffet,” I promised. She wriggled a little on my lap, and I reached for her skirt. “Speaking of, is rule number 5...”