Page 63 of X: Command Me through Alexander’s Eyes

“Will this baby be a boy?” I asked hopefully.

“I don’t know.” More tears then.

“I’m sorry!” I squeaked, wishing I hadn’t asked the question. “I’ll be nice to it, even if it’s another girl!”

“I know you will,” she said softly, hugging me closer. “You’re the big brother. You have to protect them.”

“I will.” I peeked up at her, breathing in her scent, which reminded me of walks in the garden.

“And someday, when you meet that girl, protect her, too.”

I nodded, laying my head on her shoulder. I would protect my sister and the baby, and when I was old enough, I would protect mummy, too.

I would take care of her so she didn’t cry.

“Why are you sad?” I asked. I needed to know if I was going to help her.

“Sometimes, it’s lonely here. All these people rushing about, but no time to live.” She shook her head when I gave her a funny look. She wasn’t making any sense. “Sometimes I wish I could sweep you away to a different life where you could just be Alexander.”

“I am just Alexander,” I said seriously, but now I knew what she wanted. Someday when I was old enough, I would take her somewhere she could be happy. I might even bring Sarah and the baby.

“Of course, you are, poppet.” She kissed my forehead, and I scrambled off to do something that had faded with time.

The memory fades until all I’m left with is her words.

“I think David knows that,” Edward said glumly. “He’s not returning my calls. At least, you’re in love with a woman.”

“I don’t think that means much to him,” I mused, still thinking of my mother’s words.

“I’ve asked David to the country along with the usual group,” Edward told me. “He’ll come, but not to be with me.”

“You have to let him be with you,” I say, finishing the last of my tea.

Edward arches a brow. “You should take your own advice. Maybe you should invite Clara to the country.”

“Trial by fire? Lovely.” I can not imagine putting her through another moment with our father. “They’d make her miserable.”

Edward stands. “Then be the one that makes her happy.”

I mimic his expression. “You should take your own advice.”

He holds up his hands in surrender. “We both know it’s easier to give advice than take it.”

“So what do we do?” I ask. We should walk away from them both. We should protect them. It’s the only way.

“Actually take each other’s advice,” he suggests. “Call her. Go to see her. Something. Don’t cut her out.”

“Be with David,” I say.

“Maybe you could give me something smaller to work with,” he says dryly.

“Tell him. Talk to him. Or let him go.”

It’s the advice we should both take. We’re both too selfish to take it.

Edward leaves, and I cross to my desk, drawing out a crimson-red envelope and scrawl a note to her. I might not know what to do about her yet, but she deserves more from me—I promised her that.

Poppet,

Have a less dramatic week at work. I’m tied up with family business, but I will see you soon.

X

She had a full weekend planned with her friend. She’ll get this at work tomorrow, and it will…buy me time? I fold it and shove it in the envelope before melting a spot of wax and stamping it with my personal seal.

Then I lift it to my lips and kiss it, knowing soon it will be with her.

The only place I want to be.

The last place I should ever be.