Page 42 of Cross Me

“Let me know if anything happens.” I resisted the urge to tell him to stay with her at all times. Clara would notice if he was suddenly clingier. She would ask him why he was suddenly concerned. He could lie to her. Tell her there had been a security threat. But that wouldn’t solve my problem and would put undue stress on her while she was pregnant.

I had kept this from her, kept the truth from her, and I was being punished for my sins. Anderson Stone had the life I would never have—and now he was coveting the one thing that belonged to me, the thing that mattered. The one and only thing I would never give him.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CLARA

I’d been asked to do strange things since I’d become a Royal, but this was the strangest yet. I stared at the red silk scarf that Henry had handed me a few moments ago. “What am I supposed to do with this, exactly?”

“Have you ever seen a joust reenactment?” he asked.

“In a movie.” I couldn’t see what it had to do with racing. I turned it over in my hand, looking for a clue.

“At past games, a royal would grant his favor to certain competitors. It was Albert’s idea—a nod to jousting.”

“So, if Alexander were hosting, he’d be giving Anders the scarf?” I would pay to see that. It would be a touching moment: Alexander acting superior, and Anders glaring at him.

“I believe the honor would still fall to you,” Henry said dryly. “My mother performed the duty for years.”

“Another reason for your mother to hate me.” I’d fantasized the games might win her over, but I’d been wrong. Instead of becoming her champion and swaying Alexander to hold the event, I’d become her replacement.

“My mother doesn’t…” Henry paused as though he thought better of lying and switched tactics. “It is the Queen’s favor—a tradition—and you are the queen.”

“It’s medieval,” I muttered. I was accustomed to being in front of people—I lived my life in front of the world now. But this was different than giving a speech or presenting an award. Something felt too personal. After my talk with Georgia, it felt like sending Anders mixed signals, something I definitely didn’t want to do. I couldn’t imagine what Alexander would think if he watched the opening ceremonies. I hoped he remembered the tradition better than I did.

“Does it have to be Anders?” A different racer would be a better—safer—choice.

“He is the favorite and I think the press will eat it up,” Henry said.

“The press will eat me up.” It had been one thing for Mary, the Queen Mother, to perform the ritual. I suspected my participation might be viewed in an entirely different light. I wrapped the scarf around my wrist and sucked in a deep breath. “Let’s get this over with.”

I focused on the fact that tonight the stands would be full of children. That’s why we were doing this. Watching the Queen gift a token to the local hero was going to have a huge impact on them. That’s what this was about. The ticket sales and sponsorships we received would go to local schools and health initiatives. At each city we visited over the course of the next three months, kids would have a chance to see their heroes in action. They’d see the men and women they looked up to giving back to their communities. I hadn’t always seen eye-to-eye with Albert, but it was a beautiful legacy to leave.

“I thought Alexander might join us,” Henry said under his breath as we made our way toward the side of the track for the scarf presentation.

The night was cold and I was glad Edward had insisted I bring along a wool dress coat for warmth and camouflage. I hadn’t thought I would need many dressy clothes, but I’d been expected to look the part of the proper English queen this evening. Under the neatly tailored navy coat I had on a boring house dress that wouldn’t be winning me any style points.

“I wish he could,” I said. I was angry with my husband, but I was beginning to miss him. Being in love had a way of undermining a girl’s resistance.

Henry nodded thoughtfully, tucking his Burberry scarf tightly under his collar to ward off the evening wind. “He must have been held up in London. I know he missed the last games while he was away.”

“He wanted to come,” I lied. It felt like I was doing that more and more often for him, making excuses for his absence. Being away at war was a good reason for missing last time, this time he was simply avoiding it. “He couldn’t be away.”

“It was a lovely gesture to do this on his birthday. I’m sure that will make it easier for him.”

My stomach twisted into a knot, but I smiled quickly. It was supposed to be a nice gesture. Alexander had ruined it. I hadn’t imagined he wouldn’t come, especially when I’d given him the dates. He had looked at them and said nothing.

“It feels like we’re bridging the old and the new,” I said.

“Yes, it does,” Henry said. “Alexander’s birthday to start and my brother’s birthday to end the ceremonies.”

That’s what I thought. It was carefully planned. I’d suggested the idea when we’d first looked at the schedule. Originally, Mary had wanted to start the games in March. I’d argued it would be a signal of our family’s unity to begin on Alexander’s birthday, February 26, and end on Albert’s, the 25th of May.

“Will your mother be arriving soon?” Mary had been suspiciously absent the past week, which I assumed was an effort to avoid me. In London, she’d come to every meeting. She’d shown no qualms about making her opinion known.

Henry shook his head, dropping his voice to keep his words between us. “The doctor doesn’t think this atmosphere would be good for her heart and the travel isn’t ideal. I’m glad she’s back in London where specialists are available. She’s always more interested in the horses anyway. She wishes you all the best, though.”

One of those statements was a lie, but it did no good to call him out on it. Henry was trying to be pleasant, which was more than his mother had ever done for me. “At least the equestrian events take place closer to London. So, do I give this to Anders as soon as I see him?”