Page 44 of Teaching Roman

He was there immediately, arms around me. He smelled like the ocean and coffee and safety, and I breathed him in until the tears stopped.

“You’re going to be okay,” Roman said, stroking my hair, “and I’m going to be right here. No matter what happens.”

He led me toward the bathroom, leaning against the wall while I went in. My heart sped up as I ripped open the foil and pulled the stick out. My hands shook as I read the directions, even though I was pretty sure it didn’t take a rocket scientist to take a pregnancy test. After some trial and error, I sat the test back on the sink and opened the bathroom door.

“How long?” he asked me.

“Three minutes.” My voice sounded foreign to me, small and distant.

“Jessica”— he paused and cupped my chin, directing my eyes to meet his—”whatever that test says, I need you to know something. I want to be with you. You ran before, and I should have come after you. Maybe things between us are complicated. Maybe they’re going to get more complicated. But I don’t want to face another second without you. And I know this is happening fast, but I’ve spent the last month thinking about you, wishing that I hadn’t let you walk out that door. I told you I don’t want easy. I want sleepless nights and lazy Sundays. I want to watch you go to med school and miss you when you work late hours. I want you. Always.”

And for the first time that line from Cassie’s favorite movie made sense to me. Because I’d realized who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and now I couldn’t wait for the rest of my life to start. My throat was too raw to respond, though, so I simply nodded. I couldn’t say the words back. Not because I didn’t feel them, but because he’d stolen my heart and replaced it with his. It was too new. Too powerful.

Searching my face with his penetrating brown eyes, he finally leaned in and brushed a soft kiss over my lips. It said everything I needed to hear and everything he didn’t need to say. What had happened between us was more than a simple fling or an infatuation. It was a living, breathing, vital part of my life from this day forward.

He pulled away and took my hand “Shall we take a look?”

The closest I hope I’ll ever come to walking the green mile was walking into that bathroom. The test sat on the counter and looked like it was a million miles away. I picked it up, glancing to Roman for reassurance. I sucked in a breath and looked down.

One line.

One line.

One line.

“What does it mean?” he asked.

“It means…I’m not pregnant.” All the feelings I’d kept trapped inside for the last few hours flooded through me. Joy. Relief. And something that strangely felt like disappointment. I shook my head as if to clear the swirling confusion from my body. It didn’t help. The tears started again and I didn’t try to fight them.

Roman didn’t say anything. He didn’t ask me for details or push me to talk. Instead he held me tightly. Usually this proximity to his body sent me into a horny spiral from which there was no return, but this time I relished the security of his embrace. It was where I was meant to be.

“About what I said before,” he whispered against my ear, “I meant every word. Tell me what you want—what you need.”

I closed my eyes and buried my face in his shoulder, letting go of all the logic and lists. “I need you to stay.”

I didn’t have to ask again.