Page 34 of Teaching Roman

Chapter Sixteen

The beach wasquiet as though the night had been reserved for us. Moonlight rippled across the water as we slipped off our shoes. My toes sank into the soft sand, which was still warm from the long-set sun. Roman’s hand closed over mine and dragged me toward the waves lapping gently along the shore. I went with him willingly. He wouldn’t take me farther than I could handle, and he could swim for both of us. But I was also too distracted to get anxious. Tomorrow’s impending goodbye weighed heavily on me, stealing the short time we had left together.

Aba’s advice echoed in my mind. Romantic relationships were important. But it was a lot easier to tell someone that than it was to make one work. They could also be a distraction. Mentally I made a list of all the things I hadn’t done this week because I’d been with Roman. Hadn’t I planned to get ahead on my reading? To start narrowing down what schools to apply to this coming fall? Besides, I had plenty of people in my life to keep me balanced. How many times had Cassie and Jillian seen me through a rough patch? Or dragged me away from the library? I didn’t need a boyfriend.

Aba wanted me to take a chance with Roman. That much was clear, but she had no clue how complicated that would be for both of us. We made sense in Mexico, so, of course, she saw us that way. But we both had lives back in Olympic Falls. Separate lives.

Roman dropped my hand, drawing my attention back to this moment. I only had one more evening with him. I shouldn’t waste it. He waded in a few feet and called out. “Trust me?”

My mouth twisted into a smile. The swimming lessons he’d promised me had been few and far between, but maybe it was the relative calm of the ocean tonight. Or maybe it was that I wasn’t the same girl who’d flown to Mexico less than a week ago.

Or maybe it was that he was here with me.

Tugging the knot tied at the side of my wrap dress, I let it fall open. I couldn’t see Roman’s eyes clearly in the dark, but I did know he was suddenly very still. I made a show of it, shrugging the dress over my shoulders and finally letting it flutter to the sand. Thanks to the unexpectedly hedonistic side of myself I’d discovered during my time here, I was braless. Hooking my thumbs in the band of my panties, I yelled back “Does this answer your question?”

“Come on in. The water is warm.” I heard the smile in his voice.

“I thought we were going for a swim.” I wiggled my panties lower but didn’t take them off.

Roman’s shirt was over his head in a flash, revealing his perfectly lickable slab of abs. He strode toward me and grabbed me around the waist. “Your turn.”

“I feel like you got more bang for your buck.” I raised my eyebrows suggestively as I pressed myself against him. My body responded immediately, my skin blazing to life as it touched his. But underneath the smoldering intensity of his embrace, a delicious ache spread through my chest. My breath hitched as a familiar rawness built in my throat. I swallowed back tears. I didn’t want my memories of tonight to include crying. Roman’s finger tipped my chin up so that our eyes met. We didn’t say anything. We didn’t have to. The same pained joy was there.

Maybe we didn’t speak because we both felt the moments between us slipping away. We’d said a week, but that was before—before the irresistible connection I felt to him had shifted, evolving into something I wasn’t prepared for.

Something I’d never felt before.

All the reasons I didn’t need him—couldn’t need him—vanished. At that moment he was the very air in my lungs. He was the beat of my heart. With his finger still pressed to my chin, Roman leaned down, slanting his lips to meet mine in a gentle kiss. The breeze brushed past us and the tide washed over our feet and Roman Markson was kissing me for the first time.

It wasn’t my first kiss. It wasn’t our first kiss.

But it was the first kiss that ever mattered.

I’d gone a thousand miles away from my life to finally discover home in the arms of someone I couldn’t have.

But this—what was happening between us—was so much more. This wasn’t a fling. Roman wouldn’t become a wistful story I told about that one time I went wild in Mexico. I was going to see him on campus, and this wasn’t like other guys I’d slept with. I couldn’t imagine averting my eyes out of embarrassment or sharing a casual greeting. The thought of leaving him behind—leaving us behind—seemed impossible.

Roman broke away and searched my face. “I don’t want you to go.”

I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn’t find the words. I didn’t have a choice, and we both knew it. I took a deep breath and shook my head. “Let’s not talk about it now.”

Part of me wanted to discuss it. I couldn’t help wishing that we could find a way. We could stay here forever, abandon our lives in Washington, make love on the beach, grow old together. A smile crept onto my lips at the idea, but it was as fleeting as the fantasy.

“Jessica, no one has ever fit into my life like you. I’ve spent this week feeling as if I’d found the piece of myself that I never knew was missing. I know what we said, and I know that there are a million reasons to end things tomorrow”— Roman began.

I pressed a finger to his lips. “Don’t.”

The only thing that would be harder than running into him on campus would be wondering if I made the right choice. If we stuck to our plan, there was no choice. We’d agreed to spend a week together. I’d never regret this week. I never wanted to regret Roman. If he said more—if he said something he could never take it back and I could never un-hear it and saying goodbye would be all that much harder.

He pushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear and kissed me softly. This wasn’t how I wanted to leave things between us. I didn’t want our final memories to be full of sadness. Roman made me feel alive and I craved the rush of electricity I found when our skin touched. I already missed the laughter we wouldn’t share. I didn’t want to miss him tonight. Tomorrow I would go back to being Jess Stone, responsible pre-med student. Tonight I wanted to be reckless and passionate, rebellious and carefree.

Everything I had to leave behind at the security gate tomorrow.

Tonight belonged to Roman, and I needed to remind him of that. Sliding my underwear off, I kicked them off triumphantly and waded backward a few feet until I was up to my knees. I beckoned him with my finger, knowing he wouldn’t be able to resist me. He glanced away for a split second, but when he finally looked back to me a smile curved slowly across his lips.

“Aren’t you getting daring,” he said. He dropped his shorts, and we stared at each other. Here we were—both naked, both vulnerable—and I’d never felt more comfortable. My gaze traveled down his muscular body and I whistled appreciatively.

“You shouldn’t be hiding that behind sweater vests,” I informed him.