Page 19 of Complete Me

“This isn't terribly dignified,” Belle noted as they sat in the miniature chairs.

“Who says I have to be dignified?” Clara asked. The joke cut a little bit of the tension and Belle relaxed.

“I said I wanted to try because it was so obvious to me that Smith did.”

“But?” Clara prompted.

“I kept taking my birth control pills anyway,” Belle confessed.

“So, you didn't want to have a baby.”

“No, I do. That's the strange part. I don't know why I kept taking the pills, except that maybe I was scared.”

“No one can blame you for being scared,” Clara said encouragingly. “Not only did you not plan to get pregnant in the first place, then you lost the baby. That's a lot to deal with, especially given everything else you were going through at the time. How do you feel about it now?”

“Better,” Belle said. “Smith found the birth control pills and lost his shit. I had no idea it was so important to him to have a baby.”

“Men are funny that way,” Clara said in a dry voice. Alexander hadn't had been happy when she found out she was pregnant, but since Elizabeth's birth, she suspected he'd been trying to knock her up every time he took her to bed. She had never quite decided if it was because he adored Elizabeth, which he did, or because he seemed to take pleasure in the proof of his own virility. “Have you talked to him about this?”

“A little.” Belle took a deep breath. “I threw away the pills. I told him so. I guess part of me is scared to get pregnant again, but it's not because I don't want to have his baby.”

Clara wanted to tell her that everything would be all right, but she knew how damaging a thoughtless, if pretty, lie could be. She wouldn't try to appease her best friend with a platitude. “No matter what happens, I'll be here for you.”

It was the only comfort she could offer. Belle smiled gratefully. Apparently, it would be enough.

“Come on,” she said to Clara, standing up and wiping away the few tears that had managed to escape during their talk. “I need to buy something for Elizabeth, too.”

When Clara's mobile began to ring, she ignored it. Amid the crush of holiday shoppers it seemed imprudent to try to have a phone conversation. But when it continued to vibrate in her purse, she decided it couldn't be ignored. Given the number of times it had rang in a minute, she expected Alexander's name to be on the missed call log. Instead, she was surprised to see it was Edward. She flashed the screen to Belle, who shook her head.

“Isn't he supposed to be having a romantic moment alone with his fiancé?” she asked.

Clara didn't want to jinx anything by saying what she was thinking, but she suspected there might be trouble in paradise. Edward had been avoiding choosing a new wedding date for far too long since he'd postponed the original date David and him had settled upon. With all the other stresses of the holiday season, she couldn't help but wonder if matters had finally come to a head. The phone began to ring again and Clara looked to Belle. “I think we're done shopping.”

She shot off a quick text message to Edward so he'd stop calling her repeatedly, and then began to search around her for Norris. She caught his eye in no time. He stepped forward and they hurried over to him.

“Edward is having some type of psychotic break.” Belle explained. “We need to get to the car and call him back.”

“As you wish.” He clamped his mouth shut before he could add Your Majesty. Clara had asked him repeatedly to stop calling her by that moniker, particularly when they were in public, and she thanked him with a smile. It wasn't easy for Norris to ignore matters of etiquette, but he was more like a father figure to both her and Alexander than an employee. He stepped to one side to make a call and a few minutes later, he led them out the front door.

The arrival of a guarded car caught numerous shopper's attentions, and when the wind caught Clara's scarf and blew it away from her face, she knew it was a lost cause. Mobile phones came out and people snapped pictures. Norris hustled her away from the burgeoning crowd. At least, there were no paparazzi around to make the horror complete. No doubt Alexander would be seeing stories about her impromptu shopping trip from any of the number of the Royal blogs that stalked their every movement.

A twisted thrill ran through her at the idea of pissing him off a little. Every once in a while it was good for him not to get his way.

Belle practically shoved her in the back seat before anyone could take more photos, and when they finally settled in, they abandoned their shopping bags, so Clara could dial Edward. He answered before the phone had even rang on their end.

“Are you dying?” Clara asked him in a flat voice.

“I was wondering the same thing,” he retorted. It was easy to see through his mock annoyance. Edward was the more charming of the Cambridge brothers. Being the acknowledged spare to the throne and hiding his sexuality for so long, he'd developed a charismatic wit that ensured his survival amongst the modern day court. It was one of the reasons Clara had warmed to him immediately, and when she'd introduced Edward to Belle the three of them had become the closest of friends.

“If you aren't too busy, I have a bit of an emergency,” he announced.

“What's wrong?” Clara’s attitude immediately shifted to concern.

“You sound like such a mum when you say that,” Belle grumbled next to her. “Honestly, you should see her, Edward. You'd think she was going to burst into tears.”

“Do shut up.” Clara bumped against her shoulder. “He doesn’t care about my emotional whims. Why are you calling us every five seconds?”

“If you're busy,” Edward suggested, “I can just call someone else.”