Page 18 of Complete Me

“Fine,” she said absently. Belle’s lips pursed. She didn't believe her, but she also didn't push it any further. Clara considered for a moment. “We're fighting,” she admitted.

She didn't really have to say anything more. Belle was a married woman herself now. Given that she'd married a lawyer, she was probably no stranger to arguments herself.

“Anything serious?” Belle asked. She was choosing her words carefully, which Clara was grateful for. It was a tactic the two had become accustomed to in recent months. Clara didn't particularly like how the dynamic in their relationship had shifted. Though it had been inevitable, when Belle became involved with Smith Price. She'd begun to keep as many secrets as Alexander, even choosing not to tell Clara when she eloped in New York. They'd managed to both look past their hurt feelings. That was, after all, what best friends did, but nothing had been quite the same since.

“Just the usual,” Clara told her. “He's being overprotective and unreasonable. You'd think he was the King of England or something.”

Belle giggled appreciatively. “Smith isn't much better, and he doesn't have a title to hide behind.”

“I can't stand it,” Clara confessed. She wandered over to a display of holiday tea and sniffed the sample. It seemed like an appropriately safe present for her own mother. “I hate the security guards and the constant scrutiny. I hate feeling like a prisoner in my own home.”

She left it at that. Belle didn't need to know that her husband had tied her up and left her for an hour in the bedroom. Alexander's proclivities behind closed doors was a subject Clara was fiercely protective of. Plus, she wouldn’t put it past her best friend to beat down Alexander’s door and let him have it.

Belle remained silent, and Clara realized she had struck a nerve.

“I like it,” her best friend finally admitted. “Ever since what happened with Smith, I don't mind that we have a security team. I don't even notice them most of the time, and it makes me feel better.”

Clara couldn't help but wonder when the two of them had switched places. Once, Clara had been vulnerable, afraid of her own shadow. It had been a product of the abusive relationship between her and her ex-boyfriend, Daniel. Despite the increased interest in her personal life, she'd railed against Alexander's obsessive need to know where she was, what she was doing, and that she was safe. In all fairness, he had every reason to be concerned, but Clara was determined to remain her own person, even though she'd taken on a life of public service.

Belle had been the wild card at university. Despite being engaged during that time, she could vacillate between dutiful and daring within seconds. It had been something Clara admired about her. Now Belle was the one who preferred to isolate herself. It took considerable effort for Clara to get her to go into public. Clara even knew that her own sister, Lola, who joined Belle's startup company had stepped in to takeover most of the public relations. Belle refused to be the public face of Bless. It was as if she wanted to be a ghost.

Clara decided to respect Belle's wishes, even if she didn't understand them.

“Who do you have left to shop for?” Belle asked.

Clara sensed she was changing the topic. She still had to pick up something for Alexander. Given how angry she was with him, now didn't seem like the best time to buy him a present. He'd done stupid things plenty of times, but for whatever reason, this has crossed a line and she didn't know how to step back over it.

“I need something for Elizabeth,” she said, instead. “I know she'll get plenty of things, but I feel like I should get her a special present.” Her little princess was already spoiled. She was the first grand baby, the first niece, and the first child. Elizabeth wanted for nothing. Still, Clara had precious few opportunities to purchase something for her child in person.

They headed to the children's department. Elizabeth was petite, taking after neither her mother nor her father, as far as Clara was concerned, so she was still in infant sizes.

“This is darling,” Clara cooed, picking up a red velvet cape with a little matching hat. She turned to flash it to Belle but froze when she saw her best friend's face.

Belle was fingering the lacy hem of a christening dress and stopped when she realized Clara was staring.

“I've been thinking about expanding Bless,” she explained too hurriedly. “Children grow out of clothes so quickly. At least, that's what I'm told. It might be useful if you didn't have to buy them all.”

“Of course,” Clara agreed with her. She sensed there was more to this preoccupation than what Belle was sharing. It hadn’t occurred to Clara that visiting the children’s clothing department might upset her best friend. A considerable amount of time had passed since Belle had confided that she had lost a pregnancy. The subject hadn’t come up since. That meant Clara had to make a choice. Belle hadn't pressed for more information when Clara was upset earlier, but that had been an issue of marital difficulty. It seemed that what was on her friend’s mind was something that she needed to share.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked Belle softly.

Belle began to shake her head, but then thought better of it. She cleared her throat before she began to speak. When she finally did, her words were thick with emotion. “You know I had a miscarriage” Belle began, her words thick with emotion, “It was right after Smith and I were married. It wasn't planned. I didn't mean to get pregnant. So much was going on, I'm not even sure how it happened. I barely had time to process the fact that I was going to have a baby before it was taken away from me. It seems like so much was taken away from me last year.”

Clara searched for the right question to ask. She knew a thing or two about unplanned pregnancies, but unlike Belle, she hadn't lost a baby. To know her best friend had been silently carrying this pain for so long broke her heart.

“I know it’s been a year,” Belle continued, “ and I should be over it.”

“Love doesn’t run on clocks,” Clara murmured, recalling the wise words Norris had once shared with her. “I think you get to be sad for as long as you need to be.”

“Even if it’s forever?” Belle whispered.

“Even then,” Clara assured her. She paused. She had already forced her best friend to own up to what was bothering her. Now she had to decide if she should pursue the painful subject. “Are you trying to have a baby?”

“Yes,” Belle said after some hesitation, “and no.”

“I think that's what's called a conflicting report,” Clara said softly. She gave her best friend an encouraging smile as she re-hung the small velvet cape. Maybe this wasn't the best place to be having this particular conversation.

Over her shoulder, she caught sight of Norris, who was staying safely distant. She guided Belle away from petite reminders of what she lost—and what she still stood to lose. They stopped when they found a children’s play table tucked in the corner.