Page 26 of Fake it ’Til Fall

“Daisy.”

“I know.” My voice lowers before I can polish it. “I know what she did. I know what he did. I know I should be over it because it has been long enough, and I live in another city, and I have a job, technically two jobs, and a dentist I can’t afford but deeply respect. I know all the correct things.”

Forrest says nothing.

That, somehow, lets me continue.

“I just hate that everyone keeps acting like the worst part is that he’s marrying someone else.” I press my thumb into a crumb until it breaks. “That isn’t the worst part.”

“What is?”

I almost don’t answer.

The café feels too warm. Too close. There is coffee grinding behind the counter, a burst of laughter near the front, Bea moving cups in soft clinks. Ordinary sounds. Safe sounds. My life has been built out of ordinary sounds lately. I cling to them when the bigger things want in.

“The worst part is that I’m useful to it,” I say. “To their wedding. To my mother. To the vineyard. To the story where everyone gets to move on if I keep being easy to work with.”

Forrest’s gaze holds mine.

I want him to look away.

He doesn’t.

“I don’t feel gracious,” I admit.

His voice is rougher when he answers. “Good.”

A laugh slips out of me, surprised and too close to pain. “That’s your comfort?”

“Yes.”

“You’re terrible at this.”

“No.” He leans forward slightly, forearms on the table, book forgotten between us. “I’m saying you don’t owe them pretty feelings.”

My breath catches, but I make myself smile because smiling is easier than letting that hit where it wants to.

“Pretty feelings,” I repeat. “Look at you, poet.”

“Don’t start.”

“Too late. I’ll put you on the Thursday stage. You can read dramatic thoughts about hockey tape and emotional repression.”

“I’ll leave.”

“You won’t.”

His eyes stay on mine. “No.”

One word.

Still, it moves through me.

Because he means tonight. This table. The sandwich. The ugly little truth I let fall between us. He means he won’t leave me sitting in it alone, and he says it like it costs him something.

My phone buzzes again.

This time, I turn it over without looking.