Page 45 of Save Me

I splutter, looking up at him. “I beg to differ. Have you never had a good steak?”

Maddox just shrugs, but there’s the tiniest something on his face, and then I notice it.

Dimples. His dimples are out.

Fudge, I nearly let my mouth drop open. He’s so freaking cute I can’t!

Then I remember he’s looking at me, and I give a long, dramatic sigh. “Nothing will ever live up to a nice steak, medium rare, with some broccoli and garlic aioli fries on the side. Nothing.” Even the thought has my mouth watering. A little ketchup with the fries? Sweet to mix with the garlic and pepper on the steak? Heaven on earth.

Maddox interrupts my thoughts. “Careful, don’t drool on your work.”

I wave him away. “Whatever, chicken lover. You could never understand the depths of my thoughts right now.”

We’re quiet for a bit, me working on my knee and him watching. I can’t help but feel hungry now. Curse him. Hungry for both the meat we’ve been talking about and the meat standing not five feet beside me, practically sizzling with heat.

Then, Maddox says, “I actually uh…came down to ask…” He pauses so long I’m not sure he’s going to finish his response.

Whatever he needs, the answer is yes. Yes, yes, yes, I’ll always try to give Maddox anything he wants. Because if he’s happy, I’m happy.

“Do you have Advil?” he asks like he’s pissed.

“Yeah! Top cabinet over the microwave.” Wait, is he okay?

Maddox disappears, and I want to follow him. I hear the cabinets opening and shutting, then the pill bottle shakes.

I keep my voice casual. “You good?”

“Yeah.” The answer is curt.

Something in me crumples. The dimples are gone, and I’ve ruined it. I’ve asked too many questions.

Maddox acts like he’s going to walk upstairs, then stops. There’s a pregnant silence before he mutters something I can’t hear, then something louder. “My tooth.”

Maddox looks so deeply uncomfortable with that smallest bit of information, as if he just told me his deepest, darkest secret, that I open my mouth to fill the silence.

“You know my dad was a dentist.” My machine rattles as I go over bone again.

“Oh?” Maddox is still standing there, halfway between staying and leaving.

“Yeah,” I laugh ruefully. “I extra hated going to the dentist.” Maybe if I share stuff about my own life, Maddox won’t feel so uncomfortable. “The dentist sucked, and my dad sucked. He’s dead, but I still wouldn't go today.”

I’ve moved on to the sugar glider’s other foot, his skin stretched out in a leap over my knee. And Maddox is still here.

“I still get cavities,” I blabber. “Has a lot more to do with genetics than you’d think.”

I wonder why Maddox hasn’t gone in if his tooth is that bad. Is it that he’s afraid? Or is it finances? He does work two jobs and seemingly really long hours. And dentist stuff is expensive. Oh man, what if it is finances?

I think about all the money I have in my account, not only from Dad’s passing, but from the living I make off tattooing. I never have to worry about money when I have a medical issue; I just go and get it taken care of. Maddox might not be able to do that. That’s not fair. It’s not freaking fair.

“You know, my family and I get free dental care at my dad’s office for life,” I say. It’s not true, but that doesn’t matter. I can bribe the staff to act like it is. “You could stop by sometime as an extension of me, have them check it out.”

There’s a beat of silence, then Maddox straightens, his voice a bit stiff. “I’ll be okay.”

No, no! He’s pulling away. So, I, in my infinite knowledge, double down.

“It’s literally no problem; they wouldn’t even question it.”

“Thank you, really, but…” Maddox is backing into the hallway.