Page 57 of The Write Stuff

That question plagued me as I went through the motions with the readers. They deserved more from me — so much more — but I was lost in my own head, and there was nothing I could do about it. Wylie was taking up every inch of thinking space I had.

Finally, when there was about an hour left, I took a break and moved to a spot outside where I could think, alone, away from Wylie. I closed my eyes, pressed my back against the wall of the restaurant, and forced myself to breathe in and out at regular intervals.

I could handle this. It wasn’t a big deal. I was an adult, for crying out loud. And it was Wylie. I wasn’t interested in Wylie. It was impossible. She was a geek. She was …

She’s everything you’ve ever dreamed about.

If I could have muzzled my inner voice right then, I would have done it with military precision. It was too late, though. I’d heard it. I’d felt it. I’d —

“Huxley?” a male voice asked, ripping me out of my reverie.

I looked up and found, of all people, Nathan watching me. He looked sympathetic, not impish, for a change.

“Hey.” I forced myself to straighten. “Do I need to get back inside? I must have lost track of how long I was out here.”

He waved off my concern. “You’re fine,” he assured me. “You haven’t been out here for more than a few minutes.”

“Good.” I slumped back against the restaurant exterior. “That’s good.”

“Yes, you look as if you feel like it’s good,” he readily agreed.

I gave him a dirty look as my spine stiffened. He was here to cause trouble. He and Bree were always the troublemakers. “Go ahead and say it. I know you want to.”

“What is it that you think I want to say?”

“I don’t know.” I gripped my hands into fists. My emotions were all over the place. “I just … don’t know.”

“Yeah. That’s why I’m here.” He licked his lips, glanced around, then offered up a rueful smile. “I’m here to give you some unsolicited advice.”

I didn’t say anything. I was afraid to say anything, actually.

“I knew I was falling for Bella a lot sooner than she knew it,” he started. “Actually, she might have known she felt something, but she refused to let herself entertain the possibility because I’d told her it was never going to happen.”

I just waited him out, uncertain where he was going with this.

“The thing is, I thought I didn’t want a relationship because history had taught me that there was no woman who could hold my interest up until then,” he continued, absently scratching his cheek. He seemed to be searching for the right words. “I was missing the point, though.”

“And what was the point?” I asked, honestly curious.

“The point was that those women weren’t right for me, so I didn’t want a relationship. Once I was near Bella, I did want a relationship with her because she was right. For me at least.”

I swallowed hard. “What are you saying?”

“That maybe you’re out here freaking out because Wylie is right for you and you didn’t expect it.”

“I’m not freaking out,” I shot back, my voice as high and screechy as I’d ever heard it. Well, other than puberty. That was a time I didn’t want to talk about, though.

“Okay.” Nathan held out his hands and took a step back. “I get that you’re not ready to talk about it yet. It’s still too fresh. The thing is, I saw the moment you realized you did have feelings for Wylie. It happened over dinner tonight, and you never quite recovered. I remember having that moment myself.”

“There was no moment.” I was adamant about it as I shook my head. “There was no freaking moment.”

“Okay.” The sigh he let loose was full of disappointment. “You don’t want to pursue anything with Wylie.”

“I don’t,” I confirmed.

“She’s like a sister to you,” he added.

I squirmed. “Can you not call her my sister? Like … just don’t.”