Page 37 of The Write Stuff

I held out my hands in a “what are you going to do” motion. “I just want to be myself. If people don’t like me, that’s on them, not me.”

“Definitely,” Bree agreed when Huxley continued to stare. “I’m a big fan of people being themselves. That’s why I brought Gertrude into my life.” She cast Huxley a pointed look. “Everybody needs a little Gertrude in their life.”

Huxley snapped his eyes to her. “I’m not keeping that naked statue,” he warned her. “I’ve already told you that if you want her, you should come get her.”

“She’s not grandfathered in at Brody’s house,” Bree complained.

“Our house,” Brody corrected. “It’s our house.”

She shrugged. “It doesn’t feel like home without Gertrude.”

Brody growled. “We’ll figure out a way to get Gertrude in the yard at our house,” he promised. “Don’t throw that statue away,” he warned Huxley. “I’ll never hear the end of it if something happens to Gertrude.”

“Fine.” Huxley heaved out a sigh. He seemed beaten down by life. “I’ll keep the statue for now. You need to get her out of my yard, though.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Bree made a series of growling and spitting noises, then looked to Brody for approval. “Did that sound like Klingon?”

He smiled. “Close enough, baby.”

“Oh, gawd,” Huxley muttered as he sank into his chair. “This feels as if it’s getting personal.”

Good, I thought. I wanted him to be the uncomfortable one for a change.

HAYLEY, BREE, AND BELLA SETTLED with me in the same area of the roof once dinner was over. Bree kept making random growling noises — she sounded like a bear in heat more than a Klingon — and then asking me if she’d said a word. I pointed her toward an app that was designed to help people speak flawless Klingon. I knew that because I’d helped develop it, even though I’d never mentioned it to anybody.

I hadn’t gotten rich off the app, but I’d made enough to retire early — not now, but probably in 10 years — if I invested my money wisely. Even my mother and Lucy didn’t know. My mother would have been proud and told everybody she knew, and I didn’t want that type of attention. Lucy would have wanted the money. Since it was my safety net, there was no way that was happening.

Speaking of Lucy, she was still on my last nerve.

“I don’t suppose you guys know of a ranch where hot lesbians work, do you?” I asked out of the blue as everybody put their business cards — which were really bookmarks — on the tables.

Slowly, three sets of eyes tracked to me.

“Excuse me?” Bree asked. “Is there something you want to tell us?”

“Hmm?” I drew up my chin and grinned. “Sorry. I’m not asking for me. My sister is staying with me, though, and she’s got her heart set on finding a forever love on a horse ranch. She wants a sexy cowgirl to call her own. I’m afraid, if I don’t find her one, that she’ll be living with me forever.”

Slowly, Bree’s finger moved toward Hayley.

“What?” I sat straighter and gave Hayley a once-over. She was very pretty. She hated it when people swore. She didn’t cause a lot of upheaval in the group from what I could tell. In no way did she look like a cowgirl, though. “You’re not a cowgirl,” I blurted.

Hayley let loose a hearty chuckle. “If you’re looking for the female version of Rip in Yellowstone, you’re probably destined for disappointment. I did, however, grow up on a ranch.”

“That’s why she doesn’t like swearing,” Bree volunteered. “Her mother — who was just like Ma Ingalls — hates swearing. So now Hayley gets itchy whenever she hears anything approximating a swear word.”

“My mother is nothing like Ma Ingalls,” Hayley complained. “Stop telling people that.”

“It’s true.” Bree managed to keep her expression solemn, but I could tell it took effort. “She can churn butter, and she wears prairie dresses, and she once used bread for a poultice.”

“How do you know about poultices?” Bella asked. She looked genuinely interested.

Bree shrugged. “There’s a channel on Pluto TV. It’s just for Little House on the Prairie episodes. I like basking in the misery of others. That’s the perfect show for that.”

I could see that. As fascinating as I found Bree’s viewing habits, however, I was much more interested in Hayley’s story. “Are you single?”

Bree let out a hoot. “She’s going to try to play matchmaker with her sister.”

“No offense, but your sister sounds like a nut,” Hayley replied. There was nothing mean about her tone. She was just matter-of-fact. “If you’re so desperate to get rid of her, why do you think I would be willing to take her? I’m not a pleasant person.”