Page 35 of The Write Stuff

Bella made a face. “I’m going as a sexy Jason Voorhees. I already told you that.”

“What if I want to go as Jason Voorhees?”

“No.” She shook her head. “I already claimed him. You can go as Art the clown or something.”

“No way. I’m not painting this handsome face.” He ran his hand along his jawline.

I couldn’t believe we were actually having this conversation. “We’re not fighting,” I informed Bree, who looked a little too smug for my liking. “We’re fine. We had a conversation, and we’re absolutely perfect. Tell her,” I ordered Wylie.

Wylie didn’t acquiesce. Gone was the teenage girl who would do whatever I said. In her place was a very mad woman. She grunted out something that sounded like utter nonsense, with random raspberries thrown in for good measure.

“What the hell was that?” Bree asked, looking taken aback.

“Klingon,” Brody replied, smiling. “That was very good pronunciation, Wylie. I’m impressed.”

Wylie dragged her glare from me and looked at him. “You know Klingon?”

“Yes, and that was a lovely insult.”

“How do you know Klingon?” Bree challenged.

“I was part of a club when I was in middle school,” Brody replied.

“Oh, so you were a geek.” Bree made a face. “I knew it.”

Thank you! I wanted to scream it from the rafters. It was a totally geeky thing to know.

“It’s good that I’m turned on by geeks, though,” she continued. “Can you talk dirty to me in Klingon when we get home tonight?” She legitimately looked intrigued at the prospect.

“Absolutely,” he promised, leaning in. “I know dirty talk. I was convinced I would find a woman who knew Klingon to chat with me at one point, so I learned all the dirty words.”

“Oh, you poor, deluded thing.” Bree leaned in for a kiss.

I was so confused. When I looked up at Wylie, I realized she was watching them with wistful yearning. Did she feel left out or something? This whole thing was crazy.

“You can’t speak Klingon, can you?” I demanded of Nathan. If he started talking in Klingon, I was out of here. I didn’t need friends.

“Alas, no.” Nathan shrugged. “I don’t have a good ear for languages.”

That was something at least.

“I can recite the entire spell to summon the dead in Evil Dead, though,” he said out of the blue. “It’s in Latin.”

“Ooh!” Bella’s hand shot into the air. “I can do all the ones from Cabin in the Woods and Drag Me to Hell.”

“Oh, that’s hot.” Nathan made a growling noise that was overtly sexual. “I’m going to want you to recite both of them tonight.”

Yup. I was trapped in a hell dimension. That was the only explanation. When I looked up to gauge Wylie’s reaction to all of this, she was glaring at me.

“This is not my fault,” I snapped at her.

She rolled her eyes and muttered something that sounded like it started with a G.

“Oh, she said you suck,” Brody offered helpfully. “Her pronunciation really is good. If they gave out grades, she would have aced her class.”

“Awesome,” I said as I grabbed a hunk of bread. “That’s totally something worth bragging about.”

Wylie glared some more.