Page 35 of Two for Roughing

“Hey, can I ask a dumb question?”

“That’s never stopped you before.”

Kilian scowled. “Ha, ha. What’s it like being Muslim in the league?”

Damir blinked. “I mean, you know about…”

“I don’t mean the fans or the backlash or whatever. I mean how do you pray enough on game days? What do you do during Ramadan? How do you resist all the alcohol? There’s so much alcohol on offer. And you’re Russian.”

Barking out a laugh, Damir held up the hand with the damp rag in it. “One thing at a time. You do know Russia is a big place, right?”

“Yeah. But the guys on my team are… I mean, Dmitriyev brings a bottle of vodka on road trips.”

Damir no longer regretted being partially responsible for Dmitriyev’s injury. “That’s ridiculous.”

“I thought so too. But it’s good stuff. Doesn’t burn going down.”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“So you’ve never drunk?”

“I tried, once, when I was fifteen,” Damir admitted. “Remember how I don’t like losing control?”

“Oh, right. But the other stuff?”

Sighing, Damir levered himself onto one of the barstools and picked up the phone so he could look at Kilian more closely. “It’s complicated.”

“I’m not as dumb as I look.”

Damir ran a hand through his hair. He wasn’t even going to dignify Kilian’s latest self-deprecation with a response. Half of Damir’s teammates had never heard of Ramadan; Kilian was very far from dumb, at least within the admittedly poor comparison of other hockey players. “I never talk about this. It makes me feel very self-conscious.”

“If it helps, I have literally begged for your cock on multiple occasions.”

“It does help. I know hockey players aren’t as famous as other athletes, but being a visible Muslim in a non-Muslim place is always a tightrope walk. I’m not actually very observant. I don’t pray five times a day. I only fast for Ramadan when it falls in the off-season. And I disagree with a lot of other Muslims about a lot of things, especially when it comes to LGBTQ rights.”

“But you said…”

“I’m a decently well-known Muslim in America, and that means I have a responsibility to others,” Damir explained. “I don’t talk about my own issues with faith because there are kids who look up to me as a role model, and I don’t talk about my sexuality because I don’t want to lose their support.”

Understanding dawned on Kilian’s face. “I get it. But…”

“But?”

“But what if there are other queer Muslims out there? Don’t they deserve a role model too?”

Damir swallowed heavily. “Can we go back to the part where you were begging me to come? I knew all the answers to your questions then.”

Kilian laughed. “So how’s being Muslim in Russia, then? It’s not a majority religion there either, is it?”

He ought to finish cooking, but no one ever asked Damir about these things. By the time he finally got around to making the green beans, the rest of the food had gone cold.

Chapter Seven

Olivia Starling [off-screen]: “Chris, a lot of the Sea Lions participated in tonight’s Pride Night here in Ottawa. Is that a message you support?”

Breezy: “Yeah, for sure. LGBTQIA-plus rights are human rights, you know?”

Starling: “Wow. Do you think it’s appropriate for athletes to make such political statements?”