Page 94 of Two for Charging

“But it’s a holiday, and I yelled at my family.”

“They yelled at you first. Anyway, what family doesn’t yell on the holidays?”

“Preach,” the Uber driver said. “I take the Christmas shift on purpose.”

Luca rubbed his pinky over Chris’s in the space between them on the back seat. “You did so well. I am so impressed with you. Don’t undo it.”

“You think?”

“Yes—” he started, but the Uber driver pulled over, and Luca was distracted by getting out of the car and pulling up the digital ticket on his phone.

They passed the turnstiles and walked into the gardens. Other people, families and couples and groups of students, milled around under the streetlights.

“Okay,” Chris said, unfolding the map they’d gotten at the entrance. “So, if we go right, we’ll get to the Chinese gardens first, and then there are the First Nation gardens and a Japanese garden.”

“Mm-hm. What happens if we go to the left?”

Chris consulted his map. “I think we go past some greenhouses first? Looks like we can cut across in a couple of places.”

“Let’s go left.” The main route toward the Chinese gardens teemed with visitors, and Luca had already seen three people give them a double take. He’d forgotten, somehow, that Montreal was in Canada, and Canadians cared about hockey.

The path on the left was less crowded, only a few harried families with strollers heading toward the exit. Lamplight illuminated the way, and the air tasted cold and crisp. Chris pulled a Sea Lions toque out of his pocket to cover his ears. Something about the contrast of the woolen hat with his sharp, perfect suit was so Chris. Luca stuffed his hands into his pockets (a crime against menswear) to stop himself from touching.

“Okay, I think there’s a shortcut here,” Chris said and led them onto a narrower path, surrounded by leaves and underbrush. They probably passed important plants with little plaques stating their scientific names, but the lights weren’t bright enough for Luca to see.

The farther they got off the main drag, the quieter it became. Their footsteps crunched fallen leaves beneath them as they walked. Luca started to wonder if Chris had read the map correctly, or if they were about to get lost in the woods, when they rounded a corner and a sea of lights spread out before them.

“Oh,” Luca said, a shocked, breathy exhale. These must be the Chinese gardens. He’d seen pictures online of the colorful, fantastic statues lit up at night, but it wasn’t the same as being here, in the dark, with the distant lights illuminating Chris’s shape beside him.

“This is really beautiful,” Chris said. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

You’re really beautiful, Luca didn’t say.

Chris’s hand pressed gently to the base of Luca’s spine, and the heat of his body next to Luca’s, the sight of the bright lights on the water in front of them, the knowledge he was experiencing this moment with the man he loved—all of it made Luca’s breath catch and emotion build up fiercely in his gut, rising to choke him.

“Chris,” he managed.

“And thank you for being there tonight. I know I made things awkward between us, and I’m sorry, but I hope you still want to be my friend.”

Luca did want that. He wanted more than anything for Chris to be his friend always, and when it was light out again, he would remember he was lucky to have Chris in his life in any capacity. But right now, in this moment when longing filled him right up to the brim, the thought of being Chris’s friend and nothing more brought tears to his eyes.

He dashed them away.

“Luca?”

“Sorry,” Luca managed. “I will get over it. I just need some time.”

Chris’s hand pulled away from Luca’s back, which only made Luca cry harder.

“Luca?” Chris asked again. “Get over what?”

A terrifying, vulnerable sound, part laugh and part sob, tore its way out of Luca’s throat. “You know what.”

“Okay, um, pretend for a minute I am the stupidest person you’ve ever met—”

“You’re not stupid.” Luca tried to be angry about Chris’s self-deprecation, but he could only be fond. “You’re nice. There is a difference.”

Chris stepped closer to him, so close Luca could feel it when he exhaled. “Yeah, but this one time, pretend I don’t know anything about whatever you’re talking about. Luca, what are you trying to get over?”