Page 88 of Two for Charging

When Hayes eventually nodded off, Mooney pulled out an earbud and shot Luca a quizzical look.

“He wasn’t giving you shit again, was he?”

“No, he needed to talk.”

Mooney snorted in disbelief.

It was a strange comfort for Luca. Mooney could never be put in the position Luca placed himself in, forced to find common ground with Hayes. He’d been truly harmed by Hayes’s racist statement last year. Making nice or educating Hayes, no matter how hard a time he was going through, should never be Mooney’s responsibility. Better for Luca to do it. He had less to lose, and he might make Mooney’s life easier if he could somehow force Hayes to pretend that he had learned the error of his ways.

They descended on Montreal through a thick, bumpy cloud cover, which satisfied Luca’s need to externalize some part of his misery. He had only been here once, last season, and though they’d won against the Wyverne, it wasn’t a fun time. This road trip promised to be more of the same, though perhaps without the winning, given the goalie situation.

As soon as they arrived at the hotel, the coaching staff made clear they needed to abscond for a strategy session. What exactly they could strategize about needing a better goalie remained a mystery to Luca. Today’s game began at 3:00 p.m., and their flight to Ottawa was scheduled for the following day, so they had no practice and just enough time for a nap before they were expected on the team bus again.

“And remember,” Lindy trilled before she took off with Phil and the remaining coaches. “Curfew at eleven!”

Phil turned, halfway through the door. “Oh, Breezy always uses his exemption in Montreal. That’s okay, right?”

“Of co—”

“Don’t need it today,” Chris said.

The memory of the smile crinkling the corners of Chris’s eyes when he said he would rather spend time with Luca than his family warmed Luca from the soles of his feet to the tips of his ears.

It had been too much to hope that confessing his feelings to Chris and drawing a boundary between them would be enough to jumpstart the process of getting over him.

Luca was beginning to fear there was no getting over him.

They took the elevator up with Mooney, but he had his earbuds in and his nose in his phone once more.

Luca shook his head. “He likes her a lot, doesn’t he?”

“Loves.”

“Hm?”

“He loves her. They’re in love.” Something weighed down Chris’s tone, a heaviness Luca hadn’t heard from him before. Perhaps it was envy. Chris wanted a relationship, Luca remembered. Someone to come home to. Someone to hold and touch and kiss. He just didn’t want it with Luca, at least not the way Luca wanted. He wondered if Chris was ready to call a spade a spade and reveal himself as asexual. Maybe if he did, Luca could move on. Knowing Chris had reached a better understanding and a greater acceptance of himself through their “coaching” would be a paltry comfort, but it would be a comfort. After all, Chris had done the same for Luca, albeit unknowingly.

From somewhere in the pit of his stomach, he dredged up a smile. “That will be you one day.”

Chris laughed.

Not his happy, booming laugh that carried across rooms and through walls. The sound he made sounded tiny.

Nothing about Chris should ever be tiny.

Luca should never have told him the truth; he’d ruined everything.

“Hey, um, are you sure you’re okay with going out with my parents later?” Chris asked. “If it’s too weird—”

“It’s fine.”

“We don’t have to do anything after,” Chris added. “I know the—the roommate dates are your way of trying to make up for rent and all, but I promise, you don’t have to. If it’s important to you, I’ll start charging rent—”

Rent? Christ, Luca had forgotten all about the reason he’d started this. “No,” he said firmly. “I don’t want things to change because I—because of yesterday. You’re still my friend.”

The glimmer of a real smile stole across Chris’s face. The tension across Luca’s shoulder blades eased for the first time since he’d turned Chris down. “Okay. Yeah. Then I guess I’ll see you later.”

He turned away and disappeared into his hotel room, and Luca went down the corridor with a silent Mooney. They both lay in their opposite twin beds, but neither slept, favoring their phones instead. Luca had forty-five minutes to find an activity in Montreal platonic enough so Chris could trust that Luca wouldn’t make his feelings a problem anymore, and he had to succeed.