Page 90 of The Blessing

“Just hold me,” she says simply.

“Ronnie,” I say after we’ve sat in silence for a while, “I don’t want there to be any secrets between us. I want you to know that you can come to me about anything.”

“I know that. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about him sooner,” she replies meekly. “Let’s hope that it’s nothing.”

“I’ll make sure it’s nothing, baby. I promise.” I’ll make sure he doesn’t fuck with her again.

Zane is an amazing artist. Just looking at his book of sketches, paintings, and photographs of different tattoos he’s done has me itching to get more than just the one tattoo I came for. If I didn’t have a budget to keep to, I’d be getting the tattoo I’ve been wanting for Grey. I want his little footprints inked on my leg with the date of his birth written underneath them. He’s changed my life so much—I want to do something to pay tribute to him. I can’t think of anything any better than the image of his little feet inked on my body forever.

I want to get another tattoo for my girl, as well; something colorful with a beautiful design. I want it to stick out compared to all my other black and gray artwork. Aside from the rose tattoo I have on my forearm, there isn’t another trace of colorful ink on my body. I’d like Ronnie and Grey’s tattoos to stick out because they’re the center of my universe.

The ink I’m getting today will symbolize my eternal love for her. It sounds like a cheesy fucking gesture, but it’s what I want because it’s how I feel. I know I’m getting this tattoo preemptively, so I really hope I can hide it from her until I’m ready to show her. It’d be awkward as hell if she saw her full name tattooed on my ring finger in beautiful cursive before I’ve even popped the question.

Sitting in Zane’s leather chair I can’t help but feel fucking elated. I love the excitement that brims inside of me every time I feel the tattoo gun pierce my skin. Getting inked has always been a rush for me, but my senses are heightened today since I’m getting this tattoo to symbolize the lifelong commitment I’m making to Ronnie. I smile as the needle of the gun pricks my skin. It feels like it’s drilling deep into the bone—but I knew before I sat down this would hurt like a bitch. The process is pleasure mixed with an overwhelming pain. I relish it. I always have. It’s the reason I’m able to sit for such long sessions without the need for a break.

I’m transfixed as I watch her name become permanently inked into my skin. Veronica. Every time I feel lost I can look down at my finger and know that I’m not alone. She’ll be here with me forever. As soon as Zane’s finished, he pulls the tattoo gun away to clean the fresh ink with some antiseptic. I can finally get a better look at the tattoo. I run the index finger of my right hand over it and smile. It’s fucking perfect.

“This is amazing, man.”

“I think your girl will love it,” he says with a smile filled with pride as he looks at his work.

“I hope so. I haven’t asked her to marry me yet.”

Zane smiles and shakes his head with a chuckle. “You’re a confident man then. She’ll say yes, I’m sure.”

I shake his hand and go to the front counter to pay my bill, telling him about my other tattoo ideas along the way, with the promise of coming back. I give him a nice tip for seeing me on such short notice and leave the shop with his business card tucked safely in my wallet. I know I’ll be coming back as soon as I have the finances to do so. I’m fucking thrilled with the way my tattoo turned out. The lettering is so feminine and beautiful—just like my Ronnie. I feel close to her every time I look at her name etched beautifully into my skin. She’s always on my mind, but it’s nice to have a reminder that she’s mine.

I drop by Quinton’s house to pick up Grey. I could’ve had Ronnie babysit, but she would’ve asked me where I was going and would’ve wanted to come along with me like she normally does. We do everything together—so it’s pretty hard to keep anything a secret from her. I’ll have to figure out a way to get around this when the holiday season rolls around. Besides, having Quinton babysit for the day will give Grey some playtime with Harper. I want him to have another kid to play with. Even though he is just a baby and there’s not much Harper can do with him, she usually plays with him while he gnaws on one of her stuffed animals. It’s entertaining to watch. I can’t wait for him to get a little older so they can actually interact with one another.

When Quinton opens up his front door, I hold up my left hand for him to see. “Check it out, man.”

He smiles, and I know he’s thrilled for his sister-in-law. “She’ll love that. Are you going to show her tonight?”

I feel my face flush. “I wanted to show her when I propose, but I haven’t asked her yet. I think I’ll have to work up the courage to do it this weekend, hopefully. I know I won’t be able to hide this from her for very long. Even if I hid it with a band-aid, she’d probably pull it off and insist on looking at my wound,” I say with a laugh. Ronnie’s very protective of the ones she loves.

“Well, I guess you’ll just have to distract her then.”

Quinton fucking winks at me and I almost lose it. My eyes widen at the subtle innuendo in his tone. Is he suggesting what I think he’s suggesting?! I must look as shocked as I fucking feel because Quinton laughs as he moves aside to let me into his home. Grey’s on the carpeted living room floor playing with Harper and a few of her favorite stuffed animals. He looks so happy; I’m thrilled to see him playing so well with his cousin. Well, future cousin. As soon as he sees me, he stops playing and crawls to the sofa, where he manages to pull himself up. He takes a couple of shaky steps in my direction, and I move forward and drop to my knees, proudly meeting him halfway.

“Good job, buddy!” I encourage. He giggles as I pick him up and wrap him in my arms. “Do you like my tattoo for mommy, Grey?” I show him my ring finger and he tries to stick it in his mouth. I point at the tattoo again and he reaches out to touch it with his small pointer finger.

“Mama,” he babbles as he looks at the tattoo. “Mama!”

“That’s right, Grey. That’s your mommy’s name.”

“Let me see,” Harper says as she rises from the floor, abandoning her toys to join us. I bend down to show her my new ink and she smiles, reaching to touch it just like Grey did. “What’s it say?”

“It’s says ‘Veronica.’ ”

“Like auntie,” she replies with a smile.

“Just like your Auntie Ronnie.”

She smiles and gives me a nod of approval. “I like it.”

“Do you think your auntie will like it?”

“Yeah, she’ll like it,” she replies, giving the ink a thumbs-up before going back to her toys.