Page 70 of The Blessing

“Is eight-thirty all right with you? We still have to order the food,” he explains.

“That’s perfect,” I assure him before saying our goodbyes and ending the call. Lincoln sends me a text message of his address, and I enter it into my phone as I take a seat on the bed—joining Ronnie and Grey as they watch television. “We should be leaving in thirty minutes or so. Their house is about twenty minutes away according to my phone’s GPS.”

Ronnie pouts at this and reaches to grab her purse off the floor, fishing out a bag of half eaten chips. “I’ll just have a snack then.”

I sit in silence beside my little family, already growing weary of the night’s events which lie ahead. It doesn’t take long for Ronnie to notice my discomfort. She rests her head on my shoulder after she settles Grey so he’s sitting on my lap.

“It’ll be okay, Trev. I promise. Tonight won’t be as bad as you’re imagining it will be.”

“I don’t know what I’m imagining—but things like this never seem to go well for me.”

“Well,” she says, squaring her shoulders to look at me, “that was before you had me in your life. And I’m going to make sure things run smoothly tonight.”

“What are you going to do? Force his grandparents to like me?”

“No one’s going to make you feel bad about yourself while I’m around.”

She looks so fucking sexy when she’s all sassy like this. I lean forward and give her a kiss, wishing I could deepen it, but Grey puts his hand on my face and quickly demands my attention.

“You don’t like watching daddy kissing, do you?” He cocks his head to the side and laughs at me. “Well, one day you’ll be older, and you’ll realize how annoying being cockblocked is,” I tease because I know he can’t understand a word I’m saying anyway.

After a half hour of silently watching television—mentally preparing myself for the night that lays ahead—I’m finally ready to head out. Ronnie held my hand and didn’t pressure me to talk about anything—knowing I needed time to myself to gather my thoughts. Going into any situation where I feel like I’m being judged is always fucking hard for me. I manage to calm myself down, but as soon as I slide into the driver’s seat of Ronnie’s car, I’m anxious all over again.

The drive is short and consists of me repeating the mantra of “it’s all going to be okay” over and over again in my head. It doesn’t really help, but it keeps me from being too tense and irritated. Ronnie keeps a comforting hand on my thigh, wanting to show her support without interrupting my thoughts. The car is filled with the sounds of music softly wafting from the radio, Grey babbling to himself, and the GPS on Ronnie’s phone sounding off directions to our destination.

I take a deep breath as soon as I’m parked outside of a home, which looks like it was built in the 1970s and hasn’t been renovated since. It looks like something straight out of The Brady Bunch—which I find comical enough to ease my nerves just a bit. Ronnie runs a hand through the short hair on the back of my head before unbuckling her seat belt.

“Are you okay, honey?”

As soon as the question escapes her mouth, I notice how tightly I’m gripping the steering wheel. My knuckles are white and begin to ache when I finally release my hold. I shake my hands out and rub my face and feel the stubble of hairs that I must’ve missed shaving this morning. Fuck!

“I’m fine,” I say unconvincingly.

Ronnie rolls her eyes but doesn’t comment. She knows me too well to push me. Instead, she kisses my neck and gives me a bright, reassuring grin. I hold her to me, until I feel ready to get out of the car.

Ronnie gives my cheek a quick kiss before sliding out of her seat and going to the back to grab Grey. He’s clapping his hands as he sees her moving to unbuckle his seatbelt. “Ga!” he exclaims as she unfastens him and picks him up from his car seat. “Ma, ma, ma! Mama!” Grey squeals with an excited giggle.

I freeze as soon as I hear the words leave his mouth, fear prickles my spine as I worry what Ronnie must be thinking. This shit is probably too soon, and it was foolish of me to try to teach him to call her his mother. Honestly, I have no idea why I did it. Maybe, deep down, I really wanted us to be a family and I thought if Grey thought Ronnie was his mommy, it could all be real for us. Her body is just as still as mine. I can’t bring myself to look at her face to try to read her reaction. I can feel the tension coming off of her curvy frame from where I stand a foot away. God, I hope she isn’t mad. I can’t deal with her being mad at me tonight of all nights. I look at my son, who’s smiling at her and playing with her hair as she holds him in her arms. He calls her “mama” one more time before reaching out to wrap his chubby, little arms around her neck.

“Ronnie?” I question, growing more worried by the second. I move until I can see her face. My stomach drops to find she’s crying. I stare at her, not knowing how to handle her tears. Part of me wants to hold her in my arms and comfort her, the other part is just confused as fuck. Out of all the reactions I planned on, this hadn’t been one of them.

“Mama!” Grey exclaims again as he continues to play with her hair.

Her posture is unchanged, and I finally reach out for her. “Ronnie? Talk to me, baby.” She gives me a weak smile and holds him closer to her body, finally hugging him like he’d begged her to. Tears fall from her big, green eyes, but now I know they’re not from sadness. A giggle escapes her mouth and she kisses every inch of Grey’s face until he’s squealing with laughter. “Ronnie?” I ask again.

“I’m sorry,” she finally says with a little smile. “I just can’t believe he said that. I know he doesn’t know what it means, but it’s still crazy to hear him call me that.”

“I’m sure he does know, baby.” I smile at her, content with the fact that she’s happy.

“Where do you think he picked it up?” Ronnie asks while giving our son little Eskimo kisses.

“Probably from Harper, most likely,” I suggest, obviously not wanting to explain that I’d been the one who coached him. “Are you okay with him calling you that? I know it’s kind of out of the blue.” I can’t keep the nervousness out of my voice.

Ronnie’s silent for a bit, just looking at Grey as he stares back at her with big, loving eyes. I can understand her discomfort about all of this, but who on Earth wouldn’t want to have this little guy for a son? She wipes the tears from her cheeks and finally answers, “I’m fine with it. I love him so much, Trev.”

“He loves you, too, Ronnie.” I love you too.

Ronnie’s face radiates happiness as she smiles at me, looking so beautiful she takes my breath away. She wipes away the tears from her cheeks and gives me an embarrassed look. “Sorry, I was just so overwhelmed at the moment.”