Page 20 of The Blessing

Chapter 11

outside

The end of August brings total chaos. Work is a clusterfuck, trying to get our project done before Colorado is covered in a thick blanket of snow come fall. I come home every night exhausted beyond belief, my muscles aching in ways they never have before. With a baby at home depending on me—I don’t get any relief. There’s never time for me to relax and watch a movie or take a long bath to relax my knotted muscles. I’m going, going, going and there’s no end in fucking sight.

Ronnie’s been a fucking blessing. Truly, that girl is an angel. She gives so much of herself and asks for nothing more than friendship in return. I feel like there’s nothing I could do that would ever be enough to repay her for her kindness. Luckily, she doesn’t expect anything from me. It’s obvious she likes to give; apparently, it’s just something that’s a part of her kind and gentle her nature. Not only is she a sexy spitfire, but she’s also an amazing person who sees the best in other people. She sees the best in me, which is something I can’t understand. We’ve only been friends for a few weeks, but I already know I need her in my life. Her soft voice eases my tension, her beautiful face turns me on—beyond belief, and her nurturing personality is perfect for the little boy I’m raising.

When life makes me to feel like shit, Grey and Ronnie are always there to pick me right back up. Sometimes I want to kick myself for the situation I’m currently in, but then I remember my life is what is it is because of the choices I’ve made. If I didn’t make shit choices in my past, maybe Grey and Ronnie wouldn’t be in my life now. I may not have been where I needed to be before, but now, I feel like I’m right where I belong. Which is strange, considering this was not the life I ever imagined for myself.

Taking a deep breath of the crisp, end of August air, I smile as I walk to my truck after a long, hard day on the job. I’ve always felt that when fall comes, my life can start fresh; the shift of seasons always brings some sort of rebirth—though, it hasn’t always been a good one. I wonder what sort of genesis this year will bring. Maybe I’ll find the courage to step up and tell Ronnie what I want. What do I want? Do I want a relationship with her so soon? I’ve only known her a few weeks. Can you fall for someone so quickly? I feel like a pussy for even asking myself that.

As I drive over to my parents’ house, part of me hopes I’ll find my dad alone because I really want his opinion on all of this shit. It’s Thursday, which means my mother usually does Pilates and has lunch with her friends. The “lunch” usually consists of a few cocktails and can last for some time. She gave those lunches up for a whole week after Dean died so she could mourn, before jumping right back to socializing and gossiping with her friends. I wish I could bounce back from something so traumatizing so quickly. I know I shouldn’t be so fucking snide; maybe this avoidance is her way of dealing with things? However, another part of me argues this is just her personality.

I park in front of the house, noticing my mother’s Lexus is nowhere to be seen. I quickly clean myself up to the best of my ability before jumping out of my truck and going inside. I find my dad on the couch reading a book to Grey, actively engaging him as he does a different voice for each character in the story. I remember him doing this for me when I was growing up. I used to love story-time with him and it’s nice to see Grey getting to enjoy it, as well.

As soon as Dad finishes the book, he looks up at me and smiles, asking, “How was your day, Trevor? You look beat.”

I take a seat on the couch across from him and kick my boots off, getting comfortable. “It was fine. I’m just happy to done for the day.”

I’m quiet for a while, just wanting to relax as I watch my dad interact with his grandson. My mind is running wild as I consider how I should bring up the Ronnie conversation, or if I should keep my mouth shut and not bother. If I bring her up now and things don’t work out between us, it’ll be embarrassing for me. As if it wasn’t already embarrassing enough. I’ve never talked to him about a girl before. I’ve never cared about one enough to even consider it.

“Trevor, is something on your mind?” Dad asks, breaking my train of thought.

“It’s nothing,” I say, waving him off.

“Come on, son. You know you can talk to me about anything.”

I roll my eyes and smirk at him. He’s using his “dad voice” on me and I haven’t heard it since I was a kid. “It’s just…” I trail off, feeling almost too embarrassed to continue. “How do you know if a girl is the ‘right’ girl for you? Is there a way to tell or something?”

He gives me a dubious look and then smirks. “Well, usually when you bring her up to your old man she must be something special.”

I fucking blush and look away, wishing I hadn’t said anything. He’s going to hound me about her now. I kind of like it. I’ve never had a girl to talk about.

“What’s she like, Trevor? I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.”

I smile as I think of Ronnie. “She’s amazing, Dad. She’s so much smarter than me and really giving, and just so damn beautiful, too. She’s just my friend, so it’s not like I’m dating her or anything like that. I just really like her. At least, I think I do.”

“Well, you must like her a lot if you’re willing to talk to me about her,” he says with a wink before giving Grey one last hug before handing him over. “Where did you two meet?”

“Well, I saw her around town a few times before I actually talked to her,” I explain with a grin I can’t control. “Turns out, she’s my neighbor. She lives in the apartment across the hall from mine.”

“That’s wonderful, Trevor. I’m glad you have a good friend in town. And who knows? You’re not dating right now, but it doesn’t always have to be that way. Son, have you considered asking her out?”

I snort, wondering what I could possibly have to offer a girl like her. “She’s kind of out of my league, Dad.”

“I doubt that. Stop being so hard on yourself.”

“No, she really is. I mean, I just don’t think a girl like her goes for guys like me.”

“And what type of guy are you?”

“I don’t know.” I shrug, not wanting to tell my dad about all my issues. “I’ve seen the type of guy she’s into, and it’s not me. I’m not preppy or successful, and that’s the type of guy I’ve seen her talk to.”

“Well, apparently she talks to you,” he comments incredulously. “Is this guy you’ve seen her with her boyfriend?”

“No, I didn’t want to ask her about him. I don’t think she has a boyfriend, though. I mean, I’m sure she would’ve brought him up by now if she did.”

“Well, then maybe he was just a friend of hers. If you weren’t the type of guy she would want to be associated with, she wouldn’t talk to you. Have you ever considered that?”