Page 130 of The Blessing

My heart feels so full at this moment. My face aches as I feel my eyes fill with tears. I knew Ronnie loved me, but I could’ve never hoped she would love me like this. Everything she said was so beautiful… so perfect. I want to spend the rest of my life showing her just how special she is to me.

Evelyn’s silent. What could she possibly say to that? She sneers at my fiancée before walking toward her car. My emotions are a fucking roller coaster where that woman is concerned. One moment I pity her, one moment I hate her, and then I’m back to feeling only fucking pity for her again. Now that she’s gone, I don’t know what to do. Should I sprint upstairs and pretend I didn’t just witness all that? That feels so wrong because all I want to do is take Ronnie in my arms and express how much I fucking love her.

As soon as she turns back toward our apartment building, she sees me. Her eyes are filled with tears and her cheeks are flushed as she begins to walk toward me. She’s walking so slowly, so I have to jog to her because I’m so fucking impatient. I pull her into my arms and kiss her. Pouring every ounce of love and passion my body can muster into our kiss. Her lips taste salty from her tears, yet, they still feel so soft—like velvet against mine. I never want this kiss to end, so, it takes me awhile before I have the strength to pull away.

Once I do, Ronnie blushes and asks, “You heard all of that?”

“Well, not all of it.” I can’t help but smile. “I just heard all of the important parts.”

She laughs before closing her eyes, resting her head against my chest. “I was just so angry,” she mumbles. “I saw the way you were looking at her… and I saw the hurt in your eyes. I couldn’t let her do that to you and Grey without saying something to her about it.”

“I can’t believe you stood up to her like that,” I say, still completely fucking awed and mystified. “That was so hot, baby.”

“Hot?” She snorts. “I don’t know about that.”

“Everything you do is incredibly hot,” I tease her before growing more serious. “Ronnie, I love you so fucking much. You are my life.”

She looks up at me, her eyes filling with tears. However, this time I can tell they’re tears of happiness. “I love you, too, Trevor. Forever.”

“Forever,” I agree before bringing my lips to hers once more.

We come back to the apartment with pizzas in hand. Grey’s on the floor, showing his party guests his stuffed animals, while Harper plays with him. The room feels so much happier now that Evelyn is gone. Or maybe it’s just me because I’m so fucking happy right now I can barely describe it. I’m at my son’s birthday party with family and friends. It still feels so fucking unreal I know that it’ll take a while before I can stop pinching myself.

Travis arrives halfway through lunch with a small present in hand. He looks happy, yet, reserved. He holds Grey for a little bit before returning him to me.

“He looks more and more like Dean every day,” he comments with a wistful smile.

“Yes, he does,” I agree, but I don’t feel sad about saying this anymore. I’m happy he looks like Dean. Having Grey means I’ll always have a piece of my brother in my life.

When it’s time for cake and ice cream, Grey starts freaking the fuck out. As soon as he sees the cake he starts screaming. I’ve never seen him look so fucking excited about anything before. It’s like he’s having a sugar high already, although, he hasn’t even dug into the cake yet. I sit at the small dining room table with him on my lap as Ronnie places the honeycomb inspired cake in front of us. Everyone gathers around the table to sing to him.

“Can you take a few pictures, Mom?” I ask as I hand her my phone with the camera app opened.

“Of course,” she replies with tears in her eyes.

Mom situates herself at the opposite end of the table and begins taking pictures as Ronnie lights the candles. I’m sure I have a ridiculous grin on my face, but I’ve never felt this fucking happy.

“Is everyone ready?” Eden asks, clapping her hands in excitement.

Grey squeals and reaches for his cake. “Not yet, buddy.” I laugh as I stop his wild, little hands. “We’ve got to sing first.”

As everyone sings “Happy Birthday,” I rock him in my lap, watching his smiling face as he looks up at me. His eyes are filled with pure excitement as he soaks in the positive energy in the room. My eyes fill with tears as I look at him. Fuck, I’m so sappy today, but I can’t fucking help it. I can’t believe how proud I am. I did it! He’s one, and he’s healthy and happy. Dean would be so fucking proud of me! I clench my jaw and try to keep my tears at bay.

They finish singing and I tickle his stomach before helping him blow out the candles. He claps his hands and giggles as he watches the smoke fly everywhere.

“Dada!” he squeals, pointing to the cake.

“You’re one year old, buddy! Happy birthday, Grey! Daddy loves you so much.” I clench my jaw harder, trying desperately to keep myself from fucking crying in front of all of these people.

I did it; I’m a good fucking dad. I never thought I’d be good at it, but I am. I did something right. Grey loves me like my brother knew he would. I feel my dad rest his hand on my shoulder, holding it there until I finally look up at him.

“You’re doing a great job, Trevor. You should feel proud of yourself.”

I give him a small smile, although my jaw fucking aches as I grit my teeth to restrain my tears.

I am proud of myself, and I know Dean would be proud, too.