Page 128 of The Blessing

I wrinkle my nose and roll my eyes at him and say, “I’ll keep that in mind, Dad. Thanks.”

He laughs at my expression, and I can’t help it, I smile, as well. It’s nice to see my dad genuinely happy. My mom seems happy with his smile, too, as she leans forward to give him a quick kiss. It’s fucking strange to see them interact like this… I’m so used to seeing him being intimate with Evelyn, that I barely know how to react with this image in front of me. Watching this is so fucking weird—but strangely nice at the same time. Their kiss is short and Mom blushes as she pulls away. I quickly mask the uncomfortable look I’m sure is on my face and smile at her. I feel Ronnie stiffen at my side and I wonder if she’s uncomfortable for the same reason. I shoot a questioning look in her direction but find that she’s not looking at me. Instead, she’s looking over my shoulder with an unreadable expression.

I look over my shoulder to find Eden letting Evelyn into my apartment. She’s looks just as I remembered her. For some reason I always expect her to be different somehow, but she appears just as she’s always been: beautiful, cold, and distant. Her hair is curled around her surgically enhanced, yet, attractive face. She’s wearing her usual style of dress. Of course, it’s not exactly appropriate for a baby’s birthday party. She’s also wearing the most expensive jewelry my dad bought for her. I can’t seem to look away after noticing her entrance. She still has this strange power over me despite everything which has happened. Part of me still craves her attention and approval… And I hate how fucking weak that makes me feel. I always feel like a small child when I’m around her—yearning for something I’ll never be granted.

It’s obvious she’s uncomfortable from the moment she walked through the door. She looks like a fish out of fucking water. Parties that don’t revolve around her aren’t exactly her thing. Despite how much she loved Dean, she never threw him a proper birthday party growing up. She always said those type of parties gave her “headaches,” and would opt for a more adult theme—which, of course, centered around her. I hadn’t realized it growing up, but she had always been fucking selfish, even where her favorite son was concerned. Part of me believes she just can’t help it. It’s just the way she is. Her head is wired differently than everyone else’s or some shit like that. When my dad would bring up her self-absorbed worldview, she’d just shake it off and explain that everyone was selfish. The difference being she was “just a little bit more honest about it.” From her perspective, the world was wrong—not her.

I’m too busy reminiscing about shitty times, so it takes me a moment to see the hostile look on her face. Evelyn is glaring at my mom and dad—who are too wrapped up in each other to notice her. This isn’t good. Although, I doubt she’d do anything here, she does look like she has some sort of shit planned for my parents.

I look back at Ronnie’s face and find she’s fucking fuming, too. She’s only met the woman once in person. Nevertheless, she’s heard all about her. Needless to say, she was beyond horrified when I told her stories of my “mom” from my childhood. Ronnie pitied me because of the shit upbringing I had. She’s never told me that straight out, because she knows it’d make me upset, but I know she feels that way. Now, however, her sadness has turned to anger, and all of that anger is directed at the woman across the room. I reach down to grab her hand and squeeze it, as a way of silently telling her to calm down. She snaps out of her violent haze and gives me a tight smile. I kiss her cheek and plead with her to not bother with Evelyn.

“I have to go say ‘hello,’ ” I tell her before I start to walk away.

By this point, my mom and dad have finally noticed the change in atmosphere in the room and the reason for it. My mom’s facial features look so sad and fucking remorseful now that she sees Evelyn has arrived. I can tell she feels horrible for the affair with my dad, but if she knew who Evelyn truly was as a person, she wouldn’t feel as regretful. Mom hands Grey to me with an apologetic smile once she notices Evelyn eyeing her down for holding her grandson. Fuck, this situation is as awkward as I expected it to be. Fuck my Full House analogy from earlier. This is more like a fucking soap opera! And I’m the fucking star…

Ronnie hangs back as I cross the room to greet Evelyn. Eden is attempting to make small-talk with her, but the hateful woman is too busy being… well, herself, to listen to a word she’s saying.

“Hey, Evelyn. Thanks for coming. Grey’s excited that you’re here,” I tell her, although, he hasn’t seemed the least bit different from the moment she arrived. “I can take your gift if you want to hold him?”

She gives me a tight-lipped smile, the ends of her overly plump lips barely twitching as she hands the present over. There’s a sadness in her eyes which doesn’t go unnoticed as she takes Grey and holds him close to her chest. As terrible as she’s fucking been to me in the past—I still feel fucking bad for her. She lost Dean to a car accident and my dad to another woman. If she wasn’t such a bitch to me, I wouldn’t mind being there for her. We all lost the same person, and it should’ve brought us together… but it didn’t. And now it seems like nothing ever will.

“Happy birthday, Greyson,” she quietly says, kissing his temple.

I stare at them for a moment—too transfixed to look away. There’s something in her tone that breaks my fucking heart for some reason. It’s illogical, considering the way she treated me for so many years, but I don’t want her to be alone. I can imagine her now, stubborn as always, walking through life completely by herself. Of course, she put herself in this position due to her years of fucking terrible, selfish behavior. Still, it’s depressing nonetheless. Part of me hates her—but I feel like I hate her in such a way that a child hates their parent when they’re not getting enough attention. They’re crying out and screaming, but on the inside, they just want to be held… just want to be loved. Looking at her now, I realize I acted out and treated her like shit for so many years because I wanted that: her love, her acceptance… yet, she gave me nothing in return. Even now, despite the fact that she isn’t my biological mother, I strangely yearn for her in the same way. I’ve always lashed out at her because I feel fucking weak around her. I always felt stripped naked with nowhere to hide. I’m stronger now, and have a family of my own, but those feelings are still inside of me and I wonder if they’ll ever go away.

“Can I get you something to drink?” I politely ask as soon as I can fucking think straight.

She doesn’t look at me—because why would she bother?—and says, “That would be nice, Trevor.”

We’re so fucking formal around each other; so fucking stiff. I walk away with my mind reeling. Ronnie’s watching me with a curious expression and frowns when she sees the look on my face. I must look fucking rough; my emotions have always been so apparent to her.

“Are you ready to order the pizzas?” I ask, my voice rough.

“I placed an online order while you were talking to Evelyn,” she says with a small, comforting smile. “Are you okay, baby? What happened?”

“Nothing,” I quickly say because nothing did happen. Although, I feel shitty anyway. “Let me take her this drink.” I put on a brave face, even though I know Ronnie can see straight through me.

“I see you invited Felicity,” Evelyn says in a derisive tone as soon as I return with a glass of punch.

“Yeah,” I respond lamely. What the fuck can I say? She’s my mom, after all. Did I really want to bring all of that shit up?

Evelyn shoots me a cold look before turning her attention back to my son. Grey must have not liked the look she gave me because he stares at her for a moment before he starts fussing and reaching out in my direction. She frowns at this and is quick to hand him over to me.

“I can’t stay long,” she says as she takes her drink. “I just wanted to stop by and give you his present.”

“Thank you for doing that,” I say honestly. It was so much more than I thought she’d do. Still, her departure so soon fucking stings.

“It’s nothing,” she says dismissively. “He’s my grandson, after all.”

Evelyn looks agitated; I can tell she wants to leave. Fuck, I would too if I were in her position. She must feel so out of place here. Everyone has someone they came with and she doesn’t. On top of it all, my dad is here with my biological mom… the woman he cheated on her with. It’s such a fucking awkward, horrible situation.

“Who else was invited?” she questions as she looks at the few couples dispersed around the room.

“Well, this is pretty much everyone who could make it…” I trail off, feeling a little self-conscious. “Travis is coming, but I think he’s going to be a little late.”

Of course, this party is too small for her liking. She’s the queen of inviting everyone she’s ever met to her parties just so she can feel important. I never really felt self-conscious about my number of friends until right now. She’s always had a knack for making people feel inferior. I find that she’s unimpressed with the whole thing.

“Well, it’s very cute, Trevor,” she says with a hint of disdain in her tone.