Page 120 of The Blessing

After a moment, Travis’s smile returns and his body relaxes. He doesn’t say anything and I know better than to comment. I don’t want to bring up anything heavy today. Instead, I want to focus on positive energy and moving forward. Dean would’ve wanted that. I know my brother and he couldn’t stand when anyone around him was unhappy. When we were kids, he’d always be there for me when I’d cry—even if it was just some trivial shit which caused my tears. He’d swoop in and save the fucking day, like a superhero. That’s just the type of guy he was. If he could see us now, he’d want us both to be happy and living life to the fullest.

“How’s Ronnie doing?” Travis asks, his awkwardness gone completely.

“She’s great, man! We’re getting ready to move in together. Well, we practically live together now, but we’ve found a house we’re interested in buying.”

A big smile lights up Travis’s face as he gives me a jovial pound on the back. “That’s incredible, man! You’re going to be a homeowner!”

I grin. Dean would flip! Travis doesn’t say this, but I know he wants to. My big brother would’ve been so fucking proud of me if he were still alive. I can’t imagine the look he’d have on his face if he were here right now. I imagine it’d be a lot like Travis’s actually. While they look completely different, they’re practically fucking twins when it comes to their expressions and mannerisms. It was so fucking uncanny at times. That’s why it fucking hurt to hang out with him when Dean had recently died. Travis was like a fucking mirror image of him and it was hard to be around that. However, now that I’ve reached some level of acceptance, things are getting easier. I’ll always carry my brother in my heart, but with each day I grow stronger, and his death becomes a little less painful.

“Thanks. I’m so excited. I never thought I’d want this kind of life, but now that it’s happening, I’m really happy.”

“Well, I’m really thrilled for you and Ronnie. Let me know if you need any help moving in.”

An idea springs into my head as he’s talking; I blurt it out before I can catch myself. I don’t need to think about it because I can feel this is the right decision. “I know this is really random and out of nowhere. Ronnie and I are hoping to get married sometime in the near future… and I need a best man. Since Dean isn’t here, I really want it to be you. I know it’s a lot to throw at you, but it would really mean a lot to me.”

Travis hesitates for a moment, and an emotion appears in his eyes that I can’t fucking describe. It’s fleeting and before I can analyze it, he smiles and looks away. “I’d love to,” he answers quietly while looking down at the ground.

All my previous thoughts quickly fade away as happiness overwhelms me. Everything in my life seems to be falling into place and I can’t believe it. With Travis standing with me, that aspect of the wedding won’t be so fucking bleak. As happy as I’ve been, I can’t help but dwell on the fact Dean won’t be there to watch me finally tie the knot. He’d think I was fucking shitting him if he heard I was engaged. Knowing him, he’d want to be a part of my wedding in a huge way. He’d plan an amazing bachelor party, and no doubt give an amazing speech, all the while teasing me relentlessly about my wild and directionless days. Embarrassing me to the fullest in front of all of our guests. I know I’ll have him there in spirit, though. Even with all the shit that’s happened to me, Travis has always been a lot like my brother. Therefore, I’m fucking honored and thrilled to have him as my best man.

“The wedding isn’t planned yet. I’m not entirely sure when Ronnie wants to do it, but I’ll keep you informed about the details.”

“Just tell me when and where to show up, and I’ll be there.”

We leave the park and make our way to lunch. I slightly reflect on how fucking amazing it is to have my friend back. I’d forgotten how awesome Travis really is. I can’t believe I shut him out in the first place. Now that we’ve reconciled, it’s like I never left for my road trip across the states. It’s kind of like we’re back in high school with Dean, just dicking around. Memories of him still come flooding back when I look at Travis. However, it’s no longer painful. I can now look back on those days with a smile, appreciating the time I had with Dean. We had so many amazing adventures together growing up. I can’t help but smile, knowing he lived an amazingly full life in the time he had on Earth. Sure, it was cut too fucking short by the most horrific of ways, but he lived more in his twenty-seven years than some do in their entire fucking lives.