Page 111 of The Blessing

“What are you thinking?” Ronnie asks as she finishes looking around the yard on her own and comes back to my side.

What am I thinking? I feel like I can see my entire fucking future, and for the first time in what feels like fucking forever, the thought of my future doesn't seem horrible. It seems…nice. Better than nice, actually. I can't find a word to really describe it, but everything about this house just feels right. Being a husband, father, and homeowner was never anything I'd imagined for myself. I guess life is just funny like that. We just never know what lies ahead.

“It's perfect,” I hear myself say, but my mind is still occupied with thoughts of playing with my son in the backyard as he gets older.

“Daddy, look it! Daddy, I get da ball!”

Grey is so fast, I can barely catch him as he zigzags back and forth to evade being caught. I step behind our oak tree so I’m out of sight and sneak up on him as soon as he stops to look for me. He squeals as I pick him up off the ground, his brown hair hitting me in the face as he laughs uncontrollably.

“Daddy, stop it! Daddy, down!”

I give him a quick kiss on his sweaty, little forehead before placing him safely back on the ground. “Why don’t you go find Mommy?” I suggest.

Grey’s face lights up and he runs toward the patio. Ronnie’s reading a book as she sips a cup of tea. She looks so beautiful with her glossy brown hair up in a bun on top of her head, her face lightly made up to show just how naturally fucking exquisite she really is, and her belly round with our baby. Never has she looked so stunning. If only she believed me when I told her so.

“Mommy!” He screams as he runs to her. “I got da ball, Mommy!”

She gives him a loving smile before dropping her book—marking her page first, of course—and pulling Grey onto her lap. He gives her his Nerf ball and throws his arms around her neck.

“That’s awesome, baby. I didn’t know my son was so talented.”

He ignores her compliment and asks, “Will brotha play wif me?” Pointing to her pregnant belly.

“Of course! He’ll need his big brother to teach him to play!”

Grey smiles. “I do that.”

“You’ll be the best big brother in the whole wide world,” Ronnie tells him before kissing his cheek.

He smiles back then kisses her cheek in return before he gets comfortable on her lap.

“Trevor?” Ronnie asks, pulling me from my daydream.

Fuck, I was just imagining her pregnant. What the hell? I fucking blush and can’t bring myself to look at her. Where did that even come from? I went from being scared of having a baby of my own to fucking fantasizing about it? Even though my little fantasy takes place years in the future, it still gives me chills.

“Trev, what’s wrong? Where’d you go just now?”

I shrug, wanting to play it off like nothing happened. I bounce Grey in my arms and say, “Nothing, babe. I was just thinking about the house.”

Ronnie gives me a look that illustrates how little of my bullshit she’s buying, before smiling and saying, “I really like it, too. I think it’s perfect for us.”

Us. Even though we’ve been planning our future together, hearing her say “us” still makes my heart fucking flutter. I never really understood the whole “butterflies in your stomach” thing until Ronnie says something which makes my breath catch in my throat and my heart race.

“Let’s call up the realtor tomorrow.”

Ronnie’s entire face lights up and she does a little happy dance before telling me, “Eden’s going to be so excited. It’s her dream for us to live close by so our families could grow together. Ever since our mom died, she’s insisted on us staying as close as possible. Speaking of her being excited… she’s been talking my ear off about getting together for Thanksgiving since it’s just around the corner.”

Thanksgiving. That means I’ll be meeting her father soon. I can’t describe how fucking nervous that makes me. I don’t know why because Ronnie assures me that while her father is “rough” and “taciturn” he’ll still love me because she loves me. Somehow, I doubt it’ll be that easy. I’ve never had a girlfriend—therefore, I’ve never met someone’s dad under these awkward fucking circumstances. I know how protective fathers are of their daughters. I mean, I don’t personally know, but I remember a few of my friends getting their asses kicked around the block by their girl’s dad in high school. I just want to make a good first impression. Unfortunately, first impressions are not something I’m good at. I’m the sort of guy you have to really get to know before you can decide whether you like me or not. Hopefully, Ronnie’s dad will like me because I know things will fucking suck if he doesn’t.

“You seem worried about something,” she observes with a giggle.

I shrug my shoulders, not wanting to admit how nervous meeting her dad makes me.

“Trev, my dad is going to love you. Don’t worry about it.”

She says this, but she doesn’t seem too convinced herself. It almost sounds like she thinks if she says it enough times out loud, she’ll start to believe it’s true.

“Isn’t he a cop or something?” I ask, trying not to sound nervous about the idea.

“Fire chief,” she quips with a grin. I can tell she’s trying very hard not to laugh at me. “Babe,” she says, her voice now serious, “it’s going to be fine. You’re my fiancé and you make me incredibly happy. That’s all my dad will care about. If he sees I’m happy, he’ll be happy, too.”

Fuck, I hope it’s that easy. My life has felt like a roller coaster lately and I want something to run smoothly.