Page 9 of The Snowflake Effect

Item one trumps taking home leftovers.

CHAPTER 4

SHAY

The first bar is a disaster. When a total stoner corners Raven and doesn’t take her “get the fuck away or your ability to father children ends” as the not-so-subtle hint it is, we trek to the next place we find, music thumping from the door. Then uninvited hands land on Lily’s backside. She squeals and drags us out, not that I mind.

Not one guy there had my libido fluttering to life, but the idea of calling it a night doesn’t sit well. The bra and the snowball epiphany still have my adrenaline coursing, and I can’t stop thinking that if I return to the condo, if I wash up and go to sleep, I’ll wake up as the old Shay.

All progress made today will vanish. Poof. Gone.

But the girls have had enough, so I agree to head back, no hot men in tow. I’m dragging my feet as we turn off the street to cut through another group of condos.

“God, it’s cold for March.” Lily jumps with each step, hugging her arms tighter.

I walk even slower, delaying as we inch closer to our place. The path is lined with single-story condos, some with their lights on and curtains open. A couple is huddled on a couch watching TV, the two of them making out. And I smell…popcorn.

Mmmm, popcorn. I could totally go for a snack. Something crunchy and salty, like dill pickle chips. Or salt and vinegar.

A few windows down, a group of friends is chatting and laughing as they pour drinks and clink glasses, all the while my tongue tingles and my mind chants chips, chips, chips. Maybe I should look for a convenience store.

Then I freeze. Holy shit.

Raven and Lily are several strides ahead, but I stand, unmoving, my eyes fixed on the next condo window, all thoughts of snacks gone. A tanned white guy is sitting in the small living area by the window, his legs propped on a coffee table, and this guy is H-O-T hot. His corded neck, strong jaw, and casual yet trendy hair—short on the sides and shaggy up top—put every man we saw tonight to shame.

“I didn’t peg you for the Peeping Tom type,” Raven calls as both girls stare at me from the end of the path.

“Get over here,” I whisper-yell while waving.

Deep sighs carry across the crisp air, but my friends humor me and trudge back.

“No way,” Raven mumbles when she reaches my side and follows my line of sight. “Isn’t that the guy from today, Lil? The one who helped you?”

Lily inhales sharply. “Wow. Yeah. God, he’s cute.”

We both face her, eyes bugging. “Did you just say wow, Lil?” I ask. “Did the woman who claims she doesn’t need to look at other guys because she has a boyfriend just gawk at the manly perfection in there?”

She swats my arm and is about to reply when Raven adds, “Unlike Kevin, I don’t think your knight in shining armor was on that fieldtrip with you when you first got your monthly friend. Maybe it’s time to date someone who hasn’t known you as long.”

Lily squints, her white-blond brows pulling together. “I’m not even going to dignify that with⁠—”

“And there’s his friend.” Raven’s dreamy tone sends my focus back to our peep show as she attempts to lift her jaw off the snow.

“Holy mother of God,” I say.

Another man walks from the living area to the adjoining kitchen, and I have no idea how he fit through the front door. Hercules would have a hard-on for those shoulders, every inch of light-brown skin covered with black ink. The guy’s neck is the size of my thigh, and his arms are cut, his T-shirt clinging to each and every muscle.

Raven stares, transfixed. “That is a lot of man.”

Lily nods. “Too bad the bars didn’t have guys like this. You two could finally get some action and stop dragging me around.”

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to hook up,” Raven replies and crosses her arms. “But tell me this: when was the last time you had sex with Kevin. And I mean real sex. Not the kind where you fake an orgasm.”

I cringe at Raven’s bluntness. Unlike me, she’s grown more confident with age, no thanks to her parents. Growing up in a small town, we all knew a little too much about people’s lives. Kids in high school would point and whisper about her father’s gambling issues and her mother’s excessive drinking. When it got around that her older sister had a different father she’d never met, the gossips crowed with glee. Instead of cowering, Raven punked out, leading to bad crowds, drugs, and extensive ink.

The ink and an attitude are ever-present.

“Enough, Rave. We all know you cried when Max Sloan called you trailer trash. Stop nagging Lily.”