Page 39 of Romantic

“You covered the toilet with plastic wrap after you gave Jack a plate of cookies made with Ex-Lax?” I’m shaking, trying not to laugh, but it’s a losing battle. Just like the one Jack must have faced when he ran to his toilet with G.I. distress. “Pepper! That’s just . . .” I’m laughing so hard my eyes are watering. “Brilliant.” I pull her in for another hug. “I’ve never been so proud.”

Willoughby, on his side, gave every proof of his pleasure in their acquaintance. —Sense and Sensibility

12

Annie

I knock on Jack’s door, my mind still back with Brandon and Pepper. I have seriously messed things up. I don’t want to see Jack tonight. I’m in no mood for romance and am irrationally irritated with him. I want to hobble home and pretend today and tonight never happened.

“Coming!” he calls after my third knock. He finally opens the door, his face pale and beaded with sweat, and my heart softens toward him.

“Annie! It’s good to see you.” He leans on the doorjamb for support. The guy looks wretched. “But . . . you’d better go. I’m sick. I’m afraid it’s Giardia. You were right. I shouldn’t have drunk straight from the waterfall.” There’s no way I’m going to tell him that he doesn’t have Giardia. I can’t betray Pepper.

“That’s terrible—can I get you anything?”

“It’s just enough to see your beautiful face,” he says with a goofy smile. He lifts his hand as if to brush my cheek but then makes a face as if he’s experiencing extreme discomfort and pulls it back.

“What about Pepto-Bismol?” I ask.

“That would be great!” he says, already running toward the bathroom. Maybe I should also find out how much Ex-Lax she put in those cookies?

“I’ll be right back,” I say to the empty doorway.

To save time, I go next door. I’ve seen inside Brandon’s medicine cabinet when Pepper needed a band-aid. That man is prepared for every possibility. I noticed maxi pads in there, probably purchased in preparation for when Pepper starts her period. He is such a good dad. I’m still mad at myself for implying that he might not be.

The blinds are drawn, but the lights are still on. As I climb the steps, I hear raised voices.

“I might be a kid, but that doesn’t mean I’m blind,” Pepper says with passion. “I’ve seen Annie give you so many hints, and I’ve watched you ignore them. Don’t you like her?”

I freeze in place. I wait breathlessly for Brandon’s answer. He takes so long that for a panicky moment I fear they’ve heard me. That would be embarrassing, but maybe not so bad.

“Of course I like her—how can I help it? She’s joy personified. Everything is better when Annie’s around.”

I can’t say how good it feels to hear Brandon praise me. I’m soaking up his words. Everything is better when Annie’s around. One of Brandon’s simple compliments is worth three of Jack’s flowery, over-the-top compliments.

And then I’m struck with blinding clarity: I need to break up with Jack. It’s Brandon’s smiles I live for. Brandon’s affection I want. Why have I been wasting my time with Jack?

“Annie’s . . . amazing,” he continues. Brandon’s words fill me with happiness. “But that doesn’t mean I want to date her, let alone marry her.” My heart sinks so fast I feel a little sick. “You need to let go of that idea. It’s never going to happen.” He says those words with such force, they knock the wind out of me.

I can’t bear to hear another word. I silently creep away and slowly limp home through the dark resort, wiping hot tears from my eyes.

I get Jack his Pepto-Bismol and make the walk back to his cottage, still sniffling all the way. I leave it on his door and send him a text. I glance up and see the light still on in Brandon’s cottage.

Only moments ago, I was happier than I’d been in ages. I finally understood why why Brandon’s half smiles meant more than all of Jack’s grand declarations. It was Brandon. It had always been Brandon.

And now I know he doesn’t want me.

I stand and stare at his cottage for a long time. I’m tempted to knock on his door and ask if he could have really meant what he said. It’s never going to happen. His words cut through my heart, that doesn’t mean I want to date her. Of course he doesn’t want to date me or marry me. Why would he? I don’t have a real job, I doubt I have any real talent, and I would be a terrible stepmom. Just a few months of my influence, and Pepper is headed toward a life of crime. Brandon is too wise a man to love me. Tears run down my cheeks, and I think with some loathing that I’m completely ridiculous. Of course he despises me—I despise myself.

I wipe my nose on the sleeve of my cardigan, feeling so pathetic. I look up to the sky. The moon has just peeked over the ridge, full and bright and shining. The moment feels significant, just like the night I met Jack under a full moon.

I walk home slowly in the moonlight, deep in thought. I don’t want to think about Brandon anymore. Jack loves me, and I . . . I probably love him. I have to.

Stupid Brandon. His words play in my head on repeat. His voice resolute and forceful: It’s never going to happen. I feel so foolish for entertaining the idea that maybe he felt something for me.

I need to think of Jack—how much he loves me, and all the sweet things he says and does. Jack thinks I’m wonderful, even when I’m a disaster. Jack chooses me. Jack wants me, and I should be happy with that. I rub the ring he gave me with my thumb, tangible proof that he loves me.

The moonstone shines ethereally in the moonlight. It feels almost like magic. The Universe is telling me something, I need to listen.