Page 47 of Lay It Bare

“Thank you, master.”

“No, thank you. If you had not brought it to my attention, I would have missed the infraction. You recovered well.”

Rei blinked back tears. That was recognition and pride in Sevastyan’s voice, and softness. Even tenderness.

“I haven’t been giving you as much of my energy as I should have,” Sevastyan murmured. He stroked Rei’s cheek. “Up. The floor is hard and cold, and we’re not training right now. Just tea. It’s been a while since we were alone together.”

“The Art Institute,” Rei murmured. He rose to his feet, mindful of keeping his movements graceful.

“I miss our alone time.”

“Lisa could sleep on the couch.”

“He could. But no.” Sevastyan shook his head. The water bubbled up. The pot clicked off. Sevastyan set about pouring heated libations over bags of tea inside mugs. It smelled of lavender and chamomile. “I worry about what he could do if he were left alone at night. With you, he sleeps, if only to appease you.”

Rei’s cheeks flushed. “It’s not . . . like that.”

“Lisa is living for you. It’s not disloyalty. Even if you did want him as more than a friend . . .” Sevastyan’s voice trailed off. He looked away.

Wanting Lisa as more than a friend was a fool’s errand. Slaves who fell in love with each other came to tragic ends.

Sevastyan’s eyes softened as he found the words he wanted. “I would worry for you, but I would not forbid you.”

Rei hugged himself and shook his head. “I love him as a friend. I like his touch. If you . . . you wanted us together, I wouldn’t mind. But it’s not . . . it’s not that. I don’t know if it could be.”

“I would understand. Lisa is a beautiful man. Inside and out. He deserves to be loved, in all the ways.”

“But you don’t own him.”

“But I don’t own him.” Sevastyan nodded. “And I don’t know how to free him.”

Rei looked reflexively towards the hallway.

“No one heard me,” Sevastyan whispered. “The bedroom door squeaks, and it’s closed.

Rei’s shoulders lowered a little. “If you miss our time alone, then you could tell him to stay in the bedroom during the day.”

Sevastyan nodded. Then smiled. He was doing that a lot tonight. “Or we could go out, together.”

Like you went out with this friend?

Rei dropped his eyes. “May I ask to where, master?”

Please don’t say a museum. I already feel like a ghost in everyone else’s lives.

“There’s an indoor farmers’ market a short way from here.” Sevastyan pushed one of the two cups of tea towards Rei. “Crafts, cheese . . .”

Rei wrinkled his nose up at the cheese. Some cheeses were okay, but only some. Sevastyan was usually careful to only bring back ones Rei liked.

Sevastyan chuckled. “Flowers. Jewelry. Leatherwork.”

“Flowers in winter?”

“Hot house flowers.”

Flowers were alive. A little warmth blossomed inside Rei’s chest that had nothing to do with the warm tea. He cupped his hands around the ceramic and breathed in the lavender and chamomile. “Please.”

He needed to keep his head together. He couldn’t be feeling this changeable, this fragile. Sevastyan needed him to be steady. Whether or not they ever brought down the Merchari. Whether or not it took their lives. They only had to persist until the moment they were finished. Until they ran out of life or succeeded.

Sevastyan touched the marks on his neck, sipping at his tea with his other hand. “I can’t talk about this, not yet.”

“It’s not my place,” Rei whispered, eyes down.

“It is,” Sevastyan whispered.

“And it’s not.” Rei lifted his chin. “I trust you.”

Sevastyan dropped his eyes. “Nothing has changed between us, beautiful. Nothing.”

Rei’s chest ached. Something had, though. There was a piece of joy in Sevastyan’s life that he couldn’t touch. And it was making Rei’s world colder, not by lack of warmth, but by comparison. He would always wish all the joy on his master that he could. He just had to remind himself that Sevastyan’s joy was his, and let the warmth seep into him instead of being afraid it would all be taken from him.

He put his tea down on the counter and stepped closer, just centimeters away from touching his master. Sevastyan opened his arms, welcoming him in. Rei leaned in against him, putting his hand on Sevastyan’s chest.

Sevastyan held him. Feeling this reassurance required no effort to access. Sevastyan’s body against his didn’t lie. He was wanted. Rei tangled his fist in the waist of Sevastyan’s pants and clung.