Page 808 of Lessons in Cruelty

My uncle is sprawled on the road, limbs bent at weird angles. I can’t tell if he’s breathing, but the dealer said ‘almost’ and that’s what keeps repeating in my head in a shrill scream.

…almost killed him…

…almost killed him…

Almost?

I’m laughing.

It’s a fucking evil sound in the confines of this piece of shit car. And I can’t stop.

“Almost?” I yell. “Fucking almost?”

I slam the gearshift into reverse.

In a perfect world, it would feel like this was all happening to someone else. Like I’d disassociated, or I couldn’t control my actions.

But that’s fucking bullshit.

I handle that gearshift like a soldier cocking his fucking Ak47 or whatever the hell they use these days. The gearbox grates if you’re not careful how you put it in reverse, but that doesn’t happen.

Because I make sure the car’s in reverse this time, so that when I slam my foot down on the gas, I don’t off myself—I off Uncle Lenny like I’d fantasized about so many fucking times.

And the only ‘almost’ today is that I almost got raped.

That’s never happening again.

I’m going to college. I’m starting a new life.

And Lenny?

Lenny’s getting railed one last time…just like he wanted.

The dealer is at Lenny’s side, trying to help him up. When he hears the car coming, he looks ups. His eyes go wide.

“What the fuck⁠—”

The dealer throws himself out of the way.

But Lenny, Lenny—ha ha—can’t move.

Lenny can only lie there, broken and bleeding and most definitely not fucking dead enough, as two tons of metal bear down on him.

I’m fully aware of the impact this time.

Every delicious thud.

Every glorious squelch.

Even as my stomach flips and I taste the most bitter of bile in my mouth, I’m grinning because fuuuck it feels sooo fucking good.

Lenny doesn’t look much different in the headlamps. His limbs have moved around a bit, and there’s a lot more blood reflecting the lights, but I swear I can still see one of his fingers twitching.

Calmly, carefully, so fucking intentionally I can feel every push-pull of my muscles working to get me there, I put the car into drive.

Then I floor it, turning the steering wheel just a little so I can make sure the tire goes over Lenny’s motherfucking head.

The bump makes my teeth snap, and that briefly cuts off the manic giggles filling the cab.