Page 79 of Lessons in Cruelty

“And then what?”

She lifts her shoulders. “Did he come? Did you swallow? Was it good? Are you two getting married now?” She’s giggling so much I can barely hear what she’s saying, but her laughter—and her brashness—is infectious.

“Yes, yes, hell yes, and fuck no.”

We collapse into gales of laughter, Melissa slapping at me and calling me a horny slut.

When we finally gather ourselves, Melissa’s wiping tears from her eyes, streaking her mascara, and I’m pressing the back of my hands against my cheeks, trying to cool them down.

“Okay, okay.” I blow out a breath. “Next round.”

Melissa wins, draws a card, and takes a slow pull of air through pursed lips.

That’s when I know it’s bad.

“Listen, Haven,” she says, looking up as she pats her fingertip under one eye to wipe away her mascara. “We had a good run, but⁠—”

“Come on,” I mutter, snatching the card out of her hand.

I stare at it. Then at her.

She shrugs. “Like…it’s just not gonna happen, you know?”

I sigh, the sound interrupted by a slightly terrified giggle. “Yeah, I know.”

“Wait, wait!” She pours us each a shot of tequila and holds it out for a toast. “To retaining our sanity this semester.”

We clink our glasses, my expression as serious as hers, and then I slowly lean forward until I’m on my knees.

I feel like I’m waiting for a bullet to the back of my head.

Melissa watches me, tapping her nail against the laminated card as she thinks. “Okay, okay.” She picks up my phone, aims it at me, and says, “Father forgive me, for I have sinned.”

I cringe. “Really? You’re bringing religion into this?”

She slashes out a hand. “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I have slept with one of my teachers⁠—”

I scramble up so fast, the room spins.

“No way!” I point at her. “No fucking way.”

“The whole point of this game is that you don’t get to decide how cruel I can be.”

“Melissa, no. I’m not saying that.”

“It’s a lie,” she groans. “It even says so on the card thingy.”

“Yeah? But you have to post it somewhere public.”

“I’ll hashtag it.” She smiles like a fucking shark. “Hashtag lies. Hashtag bullshit. Hashtag⁠—”

“I could get expelled.”

“What? Oh, please.” She waves a hand, dropping my phone so she can stare at me. “Students fuck faculty all the time. As long as it’s not blatant that you got better grades because of it, and you don’t rub it in the dean’s face, no one gives a shit.”

She lifts my phone again. “We’re all adults here.” Her giggle is pure evil.

“Come up with something else.” I cross my arms over my chest.