Page 89 of Absolution

“What? I’m washing and shaving everything! Now, leave me be woman!”

“Good, ya nasty ass hooch! Emmie and I are running over to get the twins, we’ll be back in a few.”

“Take your time, I am.” Reese is the best, doesn’t matter she’s my cousin, I love her like a sister. Emmie will love having the twins over to play with too.

I take my time, showering, and shaving all the things, even though I didn’t want to do it. By the time I’m finished, I feel much better. I also no longer smell. I wrap my hair and trudge through the house.

“I wonder if Reese will grab us some ice cream. Where’s my cell?” I round the corner to be stopped dead in my tracks. My mouth hangs before I can shut it.

“Scar.” My name on his lips is like an anthem to my soul. It soothes my heart and feels like home.

“I thought you were moving away.” I jut out my chin, folding my arms across myself. Doc runs over to me, and I lean down to love on her. “Hello, my love. How’s my Doc?”

“We’re good, and yes, I packed my things, thought about getting away from everything, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave.”

“I let you go, you’re forgiven. No worries here, so go start a new life.” I beg my tears to stay put, I refuse to let him see me cry again. I focus on Doc as she makes herself at home on the couch.

“Damn, I was just getting used to you loving me.” He steps closer to me, looking fine as hell. Like, why? He’s trying to torture me.

“One of the hardest things I’ve ever done is to grieve a person that was still living. I think you’ll get over it if you try hard enough.” I twist my mouth, chewing the inside of it, hoping I don’t lose my shit in front of him.

“Scar, I’ll never love another person the way I love you. In the middle of my chaos, there you were. Pulling me into the here and now. I’m sorry I let you down.” This time, I have no way to stop them. His eyes glisten with the wet stuff too.

I move across the room, putting distance between us. “I’m not sure we can fix all that’s been broken, Creed.”

“We’ll never know if we don’t try.”

“We did try, and we failed.” I sniffle, giving into my fledgling tears.

“No, you tried. I was too caught up in being a selfish asshole. I never gave you a chance to explain what you had been through. I’m not sure I would’ve made it.”

“But didn’t you? You’re here, and you’re getting a second chance. That’s something most aren’t given.”

“I was lost, Scar. I wasn’t sure a second chance is what I needed. I was wrong, it’s all I need.” He stalks toward me. “You’re all I need.”

I shake my head to keep him from noticing my body quaking. “You don’t need me; you don’t even know me.”

“My heart will always know yours. If you came to me as a different person, in another time, with your name changed, I would still know you. I will always love you.” He reaches for me, and I flinch.

“I let my guard down with you once, I can’t risk it again. This wasn’t meant to be, I was wrong. I should’ve never come here; I never should’ve looked for you.”

You know those pieces of my heart that were left, there’s nothing now. Creed searches my face, looking for the love I once gave him, but it’s not here anymore. I’m not the same girl, and there is no absolution for me.

“Go home, Creed. I’m no longer someone you can love.” I turn to leave, and he steps in front of me.

“I remember you. The day I first laid eyes on you, I knew then I’d love you forever, and my entire world flipped. I dreamed of you every day while I was in that hell hole. You would beg me to come home to find you. And now that I have, I’m not letting you go.”

“You don’t have a choice.” I level him. “I can’t do this anymore, Creed. This… you and I will never work! We’ve tried twice, and it has gutted me. I have nothing left to give. Just let go.” That’s when it happens, I release him. I would love to say my heart was breaking, but what was a fissure is now pieces of my world.

“Because you have given me everything. A daughter. Your love. A place to call home. There was a time when I thought being a SEAL was the most important thing in the world. I was wrong, nothing will ever mean more to me than being your husband and Emmie’s father. Loving you both as I promised I always would, the way you showed me it should be.” This time, when I look into his eyes, I see the man I fell in love with. If only it wasn’t too late.

“Life has a way of showing us what will be when we don’t listen. I refused to hear it, now I’m learning the hard way. No, Creed. This was never meant to be.” I clutch my chest, knowing my heart isn’t in this, but there’s no turning back. I race from the room, locking myself in my bedroom and away from him.

I watch the clock as time moves slowly, and as much as I hate to admit it, I’m thinking of Creed and wanting him here with me. Instead of texting him, I text Reese instead and check in on how Emmie is doing.

Scarlet: Where are you?

Scarlet: I can’t believe you left him here.