Page 82 of Absolution

“I’m not going to fight for something that isn’t worth fighting for.” He leers at me, wielding his words like a sword, they cut deep and mortally wounding me.

My head whips around like I’ve been punched, connecting to my heart and his justifiable torture. “And to think, I worried about the cruelty you had endured.”

“Scarlet, I was lost when I found you! I thought you were going to be my redemption! My happily ever after the fray, you were all I wanted. You were supposed to be my salvation, little did I know you would need absolution first.”

“Do you know what those words mean, Creed? Love, redemption, salvation, and absolution?” I lift my chin, although I refuse to look him in the face. His words demolished me to the point I have nothing left. We stand in the middle of our war, damaged beyond repair.

“You better believe I know. Each of those words is full of heartache and pain. No one listening to their real meaning of life and moving forward.”

“They mean… forgiveness.”

I turn, running out the door of his home, from him and our love. He’s finally living his worst fear, he’s not himself anymore. He’s lost the one thing that made him who he was, the heart of the man who knows how to love.

Reese opens the door, and I jump in. She races away before I have a chance to escape and rush back to him. I want to beg him to forgive me, to feel his love as I did just days ago.

“You’re going to be okay, Scarlet. He’s going to come back.”

I start with a small shake of my head, only to have my entire body to follow. My tears have run dry, and my body has lost all control. Here, I allow all the things I fought off for so long to overtake me and live here for now.

Tomorrow, I’ll start over and pick up the pieces of my life once again. I find solace, and at some point, I’ll forgive him, not for leaving me, but for loving me to begin with and taking my heart with him.

Isn’t it funny how the most desolate love is to know they love you and still want you, but fate will not allow it? We all must start a new chapter, but I never imagined I’d be starting a new book.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Creed

Like a bad movie, I can’t turn away from the havoc unfolding in front of me. I’m cemented to the floor as Scarlet runs out the door, putting as much distance between us as possible. I’m awestruck by the damage words can do when uttered in a moment of anger.

“Fuck!” I send my fist through the wall as rage boils in my gut, and anger gets the best of me. Pain seizes my chest, and I crumple into the floor.

I look around the room, boxes sitting in every corner with nothing in them that can’t be replaced. Instead, I let the one thing I can never replace walk out of my door without even attempting to stop her.

“Fucking asshole,” I scream, elbowing the floor with fury. No matter how hard I try, I can’t erase the vision of pain written on Scarlet’s face as she ran out of here.

“You’re a fucking idiot! You chase her outta here for the same thing you’re guilty of doing, running from fear. Her body shook with anxiety from the time she walked through the door, riddled with worry.”

“I’ve run around asking everyone to understand my fear of not being accepted or not wanting to be judged for the choices I’ve made, and all I’ve done is crucify her for the same thing.”

Confused and hate-filled, I spend the rest of the evening, moving boxes across the room, only to bring it back ten minutes later. Sleep isn’t much better, I wrestle the comforter until I hurl it into the floor.

I drag ass into Drew’s the next day hoping he’ll hand my ass to me after hearing what happened last night. I don’t know why I do it every time, pushing people away is my best defense.

But what I did to Scarlet last night wasn’t love, it was bitterness and a cold, dead soul. I denied her the one thing she needs most, forgiveness. As if I don’t owe it to her for all she’s been through for me.

“Wow.” Drew leans back, lacing his fingers behind his head. “And she just left.”

“Would you have stayed after that? I ruined the one chance I had to make things right.”

“If there’s one thing I know about life, we’re given multiple opportunities to screw things up.” He chuckles when I flip him off. There’s a knock on the door, and before I can register what’s happening, Jackson strolls through it.

I cut my eyes at Drew, narrowing them. Jackson is the last person I want to talk to right now. The push for me to come to terms with everything is still rotting in my gut. The fissure caused by the lack of simple respect for me is more profound than any other subject right now.

If one more person tells me this is how these things play out, I’m probably going to punch them. It doesn’t matter to me that others have been through it, it still doesn’t make it right.

I can’t stage a protest now, he’s already here. And just like that, he saunters over like only Jackson Cole can. Fucker. I admire the hell out of him, but right now, I’m still pissed.

“Hatch, how are you?” He offers his hand, and I take it. Peace ascends over the meeting.