Page 46 of Absolution

He steeples his fingers, prodding for me to go on. “Which was what? Did they make you feel uncomfortable or uneasy in any way?”

“No, just the opposite. Everything felt familiar and yet, so fucking irritating because I couldn’t remember anything. I watched their lives play out in the reflection of their eyes. I stood there, bearing witness to their pain, and couldn’t give them what they needed most… me.”

Drew studies me, taking in my every move. The furrow in his brow, warns me he’s preparing his words carefully. “You’re afraid they’ll want more from you, maybe expect more than you’ll be prepared to give?”

“If I had it to give, I would, but having to face them day in and day out, needing their son or who I used to be, I’m afraid they’ll give up on me. I’m scared they’ll not want the person I am now because I may never be the Creed they used to have.”

“Creed, most parents are perfectly happy if their child is safe and happy. Why do you think they’ve never pushed you to visit? Their only hope has ever been for you to be alive and happy. They’ve never made it about themselves, even when Crawford gave up his seat, it wasn’t for show or to be a martyr.” His eyes search mine for understanding. “Their love for you was greater than any other thing on earth, for you to be alive was most important.”

I shut my eyes, banishing Scarlet from my mind, only to have my parents to flood my every thought. It’s of no use, I can’t run anymore, I have to face it all. I open my mouth, baring my soul with each formed word.

“But I’m not, I don’t feel like I’m living. It’s like my puzzles, a piece missing, never fully complete. It’s been one thing to have my dreams filled with the anxiety of being someone I’m not, but now I know I’ll never be complete without all my pieces fitting together.”

“Maybe it’s time to set the final one in so you can see the entire image.” He lifts his hand as if to say, ‘whatcha think?’

“You could be right, but now I need to figure out how Scarlet fits in or if she even does.”

Chapter Fifteen

Scarlet

“Hey, you forgot to sign Polka Dots chart.” Amy slides the folder in front of me, which I mindlessly scribble on. As I push it back to her, she waves her hand in front of my face. “Earth to Scar, are you there?”

“Sorry.” I spin my chair around. “I had the worst weekend, can’t seem to shake it.”

She skips around my desk, grinning. “Does it have anything to do with Hottie Hatcher you were spotted having breakfast with Sunday morning?”

“What?” I sit ramrod straight, panic shooting through me. “Who? What? How did anyone see us? It was so early. What did they say? Do they know either of us? Him in particular?”

She backs away, holding up her hands as I pepper her with questions. “Hold up! I saw you… on my walk of shame after a slightly wild Saturday night.”

“Oh, okay.” I release the breath I had been holding. “Sounds like fun.”

“Not really, but I guess so if we’re comparing it to yours.”

I stick my tongue out at her. “Yes… yes… yes, we all know I don’t have a life. And no, he left before the food even made it to the table.”

“Dang, girl! Ya gotta let a man get his grub on before you run him off. Poor guy left hungry and horny.”

“He did not!”

She shrugs. “Did he eat… anything?”

“I hate you.” I spring from my chair, storming past her as I mumble, “Not a damn thing.”

“Not because he didn’t want to, he was looking at you like you were gonna be his afternoon delight!”

My mouth hangs open before I can gather my thoughts. “Amy, if you could read the mind of men so well, why do you pick the worst ones?”

“Make no mistake, I pick the fun ones.” She winks, gliding past me like the hooch she is. I love her hot ass too.

The afternoon flies by with one emergency after the other. I don’t mind being busy, it helps the day go quickly, but the minute I sit down, I’m totally exhausted and ready for sleep.

On my way home, I allow myself to daydream. Thinking of celebrating Emmie’s birthday, about how much she’ll enjoy Halloween and Christmas this year. My heart dared to hope of happiness for the future.

Turning down my street, I look toward my home, waiting for it to come into view. There’s an SUV parked by the curb in front of it, and I’m immediately hesitant.

The closer I get, the slower I drive until I come to a complete stop beside the parked vehicle. The window rolls down, and a smile spreads from one side of his chiseled jaw to the other.