Page 35 of Absolution

"Dear Lord. You're welcome home anytime, Creed. Anytime, day or night." His voice breaks on my name. I think I made him cry. I've never seen him this emotional, I always assumed Kathryn carried all the emotion. Crawford's been great to me, but I often wondered if I hid my feelings because he does it so well. Kathryn’s right, Craw does come so easily when speaking to him.

"Do me a favor, and don't tell Kathryn. I like the faces she makes."

He chuckles. "She does make the best faces."

"Friday." I release the breath I was holding. "Thank you."

"Let's get this straight, you can thank me for many things in life, but coming home isn't one of them. This place is your home anytime you want it."

"Well, thank you." We laugh. "I'll text you when we're on the road."

"Sounds good." The call ends and in the best way possible. I've avoided this place, and people like the plague all this time. Apparently, there was no reason to.

The rest of the week flies by, I couldn't be happier about it. I worked my ass off, so I could have Friday off. I need to talk to Drew before I leave for Cherry Grove. I'm thinking about explaining everything to him, just in case.

Fifteen minutes later, I'm walking through the door to Drew's office. He motions me over while he's on the phone, I plop down in the first seat. Might as well be comfortable because he's always on the phone.

"Say hi to Sharon." He holds the phone away from his ear.

I scoot forward. "Hello, Sharon."

"He does not! He sounds nothing like him. Whatever, I'm going. Love you." He ends the call and lays the phone to the side. "She thinks you sound like that guy from the movie with the red room."

"Ha! I love it. Tell her I have cuffs."

"Screw you, Hatcher." Drew is always good for a laugh. When I first started coming to him, I thought he did it to break the ice. Now I understand he's just a good person.

"Only one at a time, Sharon's got dibs."

He flips me off. "What are you doing here? This is not your appointment time, and no one dragged you in here, kicking and screaming. Is something wrong?"

"You need to figure this out, either you want me to sex you up, or you don't. You're not allowed to be pissy because Sharon's first."

"What the hell do you want?"

I steeple my fingers, worry written on my face. "I visited with Crawford and Kathryn last weekend."

"How do you think things went?"

"Don't do that, do not psychoanalyze me." I huff.

"I'm not, and you don't try to do my job. How did things go?" There's my good friend. Yes, there are times I need to talk. But today is more about breakthroughs, I think.

"When I leave here, I'm going back for the weekend. We had a nice time, they never pressured me."

He sits back, smiling. "No episodes or dreams?"

"No..." I can't believe it didn't dawn on me. "now that you mention it, I didn't dream the entire weekend. They started again once I got back here."

"Really?" He leans forward, grabbing his trusty red pen to make notes. "Any thoughts on what it could mean? Or how you feel about the fact the dreams only occur here?"

"Honestly, I haven’t thought twice about it. My parents were great, no pressure, and I wasn’t uncomfortable. Now the redhead I met is another story altogether. I can't stop thinking about her."

Drew’s eyes cut sharply to me, with a shit eating grin plastered on his face. “Redhead? Go on… I’m listening.”

"Seriously? Doc cut her foot, and she was the closest veterinarian I could find that also happened to be stunning. And intriguing. Probably off-limits. Also, outta my league.” His forehead creases, he has something to say, and I hope it's not discouragement. For the first time, in a very long time, I feel like a human. I long for closeness, and to be accepted for who I am now.

I need to feel alive.